Wednesday, February 25, 2009

It could be worse--right?

It seems finding a break from bad luck is hard to find around here! I look back at my past 2 years and all I can think about, is how did i survive all of this? Exactly 2 years from today,
I lost my best friend... and it has all seem to go down hill from there. Since then I have lost a few family members (my grandparents and my uncle), followed by the dreaded news of Sean having cancer and our long battle with that. Don't get me wrong, I have most definitely had some of the BEST times of my life during these psast 2 years also, including having Ella, having the best friends in the world, and falling in love with Sean all over again. I still have the hardest time waking up in the morning and not thinking--does it get any worse then this? Since Sean has died, I have had a few 'mishaps' if that may be what I call them... including, but not limited to(!) almost starting my house on fire (twice! ha.), having my vehicle break down on me (twice) and having more drama in my life then i had in highschool--causing me to lose the friendship of a best friend and for the big topper--rolling my grand cherokee a few weeks ago! Yes, I crashed my jeep--so scary. Which, has put the thought of what happens if something were to ever happen to me? What happens with the girls--who will take care of them, how could they cope with losing another parent? and yada yada yada... I mean, I KNOW that I definitely have people that I could count on to raise the girls for me, but it is still hard to process the possibility of that happening. I guess with all this bad stuff happening to me, I have had so many point out to me how I have so much to be thankful for also though... like, when I rolled my Jeep, it really could have been so much worse--i walked away from it (ok, so when i eventually managed to get out of the dang thing). I thankfully managed to only have a few cuts and bruises, which most would be pretty surprised if they had seen my jeep in the ditch upside down. I had full coverage insurance, so I was able to get another grand cherokee on Monday and in the mean time, Dan let me borrow a spare car that he had. I am also sooo very thankful that I have my daughters--they are definitely the best part of my life and it really helps to keep me strong, knowing they need me to be there for them. anyways....
The girls are doing great! Addie is 4 now--omgoodness! and Ella Bella's birthday is coming up VERY quickly~she will be 2 on March 7th! Ella has started potty training and has successfully used the potty ONE time-haha. I am also working on breaking her from the binky, and that has been going so-so. Addie is the smartest girl ever! It amazes me at what she learns every single day. I have been doing good also all in all--despite everything. I have been working on losing weight the past couple of months--totaling 31 pounds!!! My goal now is to lose another 15 by May--so wish me luck! Work has not been to bad for me and school is something I am still looking forward to in the near future--I wanted to start this winter, but the whole me needing to take my ACT's has postponed that until this coming fall... Thats about all for now--I would really like to update with some photos soon, but my computer is down (again), so I have been using Sean's mac and I have no clue how to upload photos to this thing! Sooo... maybe I will get that thing fixed soon, so I can update again! Thanks for hanging in here with me even though I am a HUGE slacker when it comes to updating this thing...

~nicole~