The Shields Family Updates

It could be worse--right?

noreply@blogger.com (the Shields family) — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 23:10:00 +0000

It seems finding a break from bad luck is hard to find around here! I look back at my past 2 years and all I can think about, is how did i survive all of this? Exactly 2 years from today,
I lost my best friend... and it has all seem to go down hill from there. Since then I have lost a few family members (my grandparents and my uncle), followed by the dreaded news of Sean having cancer and our long battle with that. Don't get me wrong, I have most definitely had some of the BEST times of my life during these psast 2 years also, including having Ella, having the best friends in the world, and falling in love with Sean all over again. I still have the hardest time waking up in the morning and not thinking--does it get any worse then this? Since Sean has died, I have had a few 'mishaps' if that may be what I call them... including, but not limited to(!) almost starting my house on fire (twice! ha.), having my vehicle break down on me (twice) and having more drama in my life then i had in highschool--causing me to lose the friendship of a best friend and for the big topper--rolling my grand cherokee a few weeks ago! Yes, I crashed my jeep--so scary. Which, has put the thought of what happens if something were to ever happen to me? What happens with the girls--who will take care of them, how could they cope with losing another parent? and yada yada yada... I mean, I KNOW that I definitely have people that I could count on to raise the girls for me, but it is still hard to process the possibility of that happening. I guess with all this bad stuff happening to me, I have had so many point out to me how I have so much to be thankful for also though... like, when I rolled my Jeep, it really could have been so much worse--i walked away from it (ok, so when i eventually managed to get out of the dang thing). I thankfully managed to only have a few cuts and bruises, which most would be pretty surprised if they had seen my jeep in the ditch upside down. I had full coverage insurance, so I was able to get another grand cherokee on Monday and in the mean time, Dan let me borrow a spare car that he had. I am also sooo very thankful that I have my daughters--they are definitely the best part of my life and it really helps to keep me strong, knowing they need me to be there for them. anyways....
The girls are doing great! Addie is 4 now--omgoodness! and Ella Bella's birthday is coming up VERY quickly~she will be 2 on March 7th! Ella has started potty training and has successfully used the potty ONE time-haha. I am also working on breaking her from the binky, and that has been going so-so. Addie is the smartest girl ever! It amazes me at what she learns every single day. I have been doing good also all in all--despite everything. I have been working on losing weight the past couple of months--totaling 31 pounds!!! My goal now is to lose another 15 by May--so wish me luck! Work has not been to bad for me and school is something I am still looking forward to in the near future--I wanted to start this winter, but the whole me needing to take my ACT's has postponed that until this coming fall... Thats about all for now--I would really like to update with some photos soon, but my computer is down (again), so I have been using Sean's mac and I have no clue how to upload photos to this thing! Sooo... maybe I will get that thing fixed soon, so I can update again! Thanks for hanging in here with me even though I am a HUGE slacker when it comes to updating this thing...

~nicole~

here goes nothin!!

noreply@blogger.com (the Shields family) — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 00:47:00 +0000

Wow! Has it been a long time since I have updated... So much has been going on since I last updated. We have made it through so much these past 4 months plus. We celebrated Sean's 25th birthday on Oct. 9th--that day started out soooo hard. The girls and I along with Will, Kelly and Josh all went over to the cemetery that day, so the girls could release some birthday balloons up to heaven for Sean. Addie loved it, she was so excited to send messages up to her daddy. Later on that night, one of the girls from daycare took Addie and Ella over night, so I was able to just spend time with the guys. We spent the night just having fun and doing the things Sean would have loved to do... Then halloween--I remember last year on halloween, it was shortly after Sean had started his chemo, so he only made it to a few places before he ended up just taking Ella home (she had crashed anyways before we even started trick or treating!) while Addie and I finished up our night or trick or treating. So, this was sort of like Ella's first halloween--she loved it! Josh came along with the girls and I to help out and I was so proud of how well the behaved out there! Then of course Thanksgiving... this year I decided to host our HUGE family Thanksgiving--I must say it was a bit overwhelming and I had even come down with the flu or something the night before, but it really was nice to have the distraction keeping busy. We even had an incident of the house catching on fire the night before! Now it is December. AHHHH!! December! I can say that all of these holidays are definitely bringing on a bit of stress and anxiety... I am not sure what the plans are for Christmas yet--just that I will be going to my mom's family Christmas party on Christmas Eve, but no plans for Christmas day at the moment. My friends have been so great these past four months, I honestly do not know how I would have survived without them! On Saturday, they all came along with the girls and I to pick out a Christmas tree, and they will hopefully be coming over Wednesday to help decorate it... We have been doing a dinner night here, at my house every Wednesday night and every week I look forward to that night to be able to be with the best group ever. I had never thought that I would be in a group of friends as close as ours even though we are "all grown up now".
The girls have been doing ok. Ella talks up a storm, ever since she was able to learn one word, she has not stopped talking! We ventured a little into the potty training, but were not getting to far with that! She is also still hooked on her binky--I was always the one to say I would never let a toddler walk around with a binky in their mouth! but unfortunately, it wasa huge security thing for and after all she has been through, I do not think it would be appropriate to take it away from her quite yet--so I guess I will more then likely have a two year old walking around with a binky in her mouth! Poor Ella has had the flu for the past few days now and has been throwing up everyday all day--she is such a good sport about it though, she does not cry when she throws up, she just gets this disgusted look on her face and says "yuk, I'm sick, yuk" in her tiny little voice! Addie--she is the smartest 3 year old ever, I swear! She just finished counting to 100 for me a few minutes ago! 100~WOW! She has been so interested in learning to read lately, anytime someone comes over that has writing on their shirt or something she has to spell it out... She knows how to write all of the letters of the alphabet and she is working on how to sound the letters out now. She asks so many questions constantly--and not just the 'why' phase, but she really gets into detail-- "mom, why does it snow? why is the snow white? why is the snow wet?" and it goes on and on and on!
Sooo.... after we manage to make it through Christmas, then we have New Years, then Addie's birthday... and the list goes on! We have all been trying to be happy though, as much as we miss Sean, our lives still have to continue. I guess I better get going to bed here soon now, I have to be up early for work and it looks like I am going to have to head out extra early because of the snow storm! I will post tons of photos here as soon as I can--they are all on my computer, which is out of commission at the moment, so I am stuck using Sean's Mac, which I have no clue how to even upload photos onto... so stay tuned! thanks.

~nicole~

long over due update...

noreply@blogger.com (the Shields family) — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 18:55:00 +0000

Well, it has been over seven weeks since everything. I would say seven long weeks, but honestly, time has been flying by. It feels like just yesterday Sean was right by my side. The girls and I miss him beyond words. People say it gets better, but lately everything has been a bit overwhelming. He is really not coming back. I am thankful I still have my friends here by my side everyday, not a day goes by that someone does not stop and see the girls and I. I have said this before, but I don't know what I would do without them! Still trying to stay busy, still working, still getting out and about... The girls are doing great! Ella is transitioning into the terrible twos, thats for sure! Addie loves to talk about Sean everyday. This past week was family week at school for her, so I was a little worried about that, but she took it quite well~ It was a little hard for me--as the kids had made a chart showing how many people were in each their family and Addie's name was under the "3 in our family" section. I still like to think that their are 4 people in our family, so that was a kick in the butt I would have to say!
I have been going over a lot of stuff and I am trying to figure out a plan so that I am able to go back to college this winter. I am hoping to go for my bachelors in nursing! I have learned so much throughout Sean's journey, that I would love to be one of the lovely nurses who I know helped us so much. A year ago, I would say no way to something like this, but gone through everything Sean and I have been through, I feel I can do anything! It is definitely going to be a bit of a juggle--school, work, kids, friends... but I NEED to do it! I am looking forward to it and hopefully it will be a much needed distraction for me.
No big plans for us here in the near future, but I am hoping to take a vacation sometime soon-- i need one. Thanks everyone for sticking by my side! I love you all!
~nicole~

SEAN SHIELDS MEMORIAL MUD RUN: PHOTOS~PART TWO!!!

noreply@blogger.com (the Shields family) — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 16:03:00 +0000

where did all this mud come from you ask?

yup--i sure do know how to drive what the big boys do!

good job amber!!! i knew you could take big josh down on your own!

SEAN SHIELDS MEMORIAL MUD RUN: PHOTOS~PART ONE!!!

noreply@blogger.com (the Shields family) — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 05:07:00 +0000

Sorry it took so long for the photos!! Here are a few to start with--more coming soon!!

Sean and I have the greatest friends--I am sure you can tell from this photo!
Don't know what I would do without them!

SEAN'S JEEP!!!
(yeah--thats me driving! as mel says: "watch out wossie boys" :)!

ummmmm.... ouch.
ok--so they are not nice allllll the time!
(thanks kieth, i really needed that.)

GO MEL! it sure does take a girl...

AND THE BEAUTY PAGEANT WINNERS ARE...
nikki~dan~amber~kara
(wow-- i know people tell me i have a big mouth, but i guess it's confirmed!)

That is just a few~ I am definitely going to post more soon!

THANK YOU ALL SOOOOOO MUCH!!!

noreply@blogger.com (the Shields family) — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 18:30:00 +0000

Mud run was Saturday and it was unbelievable! There was a huge turn out--everything was perfect only if Sean were there... The boys got the Jeep going, so I was able to attempt the mud pit- I didn't make it to far in though-- all well, always next year for that! It was a blast, after I had got the Jeep stuck in the middle of the mud pit, Kieth decided to pull me out of the Jeep and throw me into the mud pit. Wow, was that fun and dirty : )! Sean sure as heck was a great friend to so many and I could not stop thinking about him the whole time. We were still able to have a great time though and hanging out with everyone there made it feel like Sean was right there with us. I cannot thank the Deater's (and Rollston's) enough for this weekend. I wish there was something I could do for you all for putting this together! Kelly (Sean's mom) even got to take a ride through the mud! (poor Kelly, I wouldn't trust riding in a vehicle with Big Josh!). We truly had a blast there and it was nice to be able to smile that much. Along with all the fun, memories, and friends... The Deater's also raised close to $2,400 to put toward Sean's funeral cost!! What a huge amount of stress taken away having that help! Thank you!!!! Last night Mel came over to bring me a scrapbook that she had put together from the mud run. It is the greatest thing anyone could have ever done for me and the girls and it is something we will always have to remind us all how much we love and miss Sean and what a great, outgoing guy he was! There were tons of photos and videos taken of the whole event-- I cannot wait to get some so I can post them here!
It is so hard to believe Sean has been gone for a month now. It has been the busiest yet longest month of my life. I hate being alone, I try to stay busy, but there is only so much I can do. The girls are doing great, Addie still talks about her dadda everyday. My friends continue to be here for me every single day and I am quite thankful for that as I don't know what I would do without them! Right now I am just wishing summer would last forever...
Stay tuned for photos-- I am hoping to have them up before the end of the week!!
Love to all, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!

~nicole~

MUD RUN TODAY!!!

noreply@blogger.com (the Shields family) — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 06:29:00 +0000

Today is the day. It's actually 2:30 a.m., so I still have a few hours until the mud run actually starts, but it has been a bit difficult to sleep these days. Sean and I have the greatest friends in the world and they have been working day and night putting Sean's Jeep together and making it mud ready, so I am able to drive it in the run today!!! I am so thrilled. I am so touched? that they have done this in honor of Sean. This has really been making me miss Sean sooooo much. I just wish he could be at this mud run.
I have been working the past couple of weeks now, and as much as I want to be at work to keep me busy, I still feel like I am having a hard time working. My anxiety really starts to kick in while I am there!
The girls are doing good. Ella is becoming so big! She is constantly talking! Addie has become a repeat (oops), so hopefully my child does not repeat some of the things she says at daycare!
Well, finally getting tired--I will definitely be updating sometime shortly after the mud run!! Thanks.

~nicole~

feeling alone.

noreply@blogger.com (the Shields family) — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 00:59:00 +0000

I swear it has been the longest 16 days of my entire life. The girls and I are getting by, trying to stay busy. I will be going back to work tomorrow, I just need to be able to have something to do during the day. The girls will continue to go to daycare (which they love!), so that helps a lot! I miss Sean so much, it feels so weird without him. Today was the first time I actually went grocery shopping since Sean has been gone and it felt so weird. Skipping by his favorite foods, it just felt weird not buying them. Everything I do just feels so different... especially making an actual dinner because I feel like I am making it for just myself. I know I have the girls here with me, but I still feel so alone, especially at night. Hopefully returning to work will help me out a little.

Some exciting news::::AUGUST 30th, there will be a memorial mud run for Sean!!! It will be held at the Deaters mud pit starting at NOON. Thank you for all of those doing this in Sean's memory and helping us out!!! I think it will be a hard day for me as Sean has been talking nonstop about going to a mud run all summer. I wish he could be there, but I know he will be watching over. Please, everyone--stop out, it will be TONS of fun!! For more info get a hold of me, I will probably post more within a week or so about it.

Also, sorry for any unreturned phone calls, emails, letters, and so on... Every time I try to reply to something I have a hard time doing so. I really do appreciate it all-- THANK YOU!!

Love to all ~Nicole~

P.S. ~ Here is a photo of Sean the last week we were in Chicago. Even though Sean was going through treatment that week, he still always had a sense of humor!!

one week.

noreply@blogger.com (the Shields family) — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 06:15:00 +0000

I cannot believe that I have been without Sean for one week. It really doesn't seem real, I keep waiting for him to walk through the door. I cannot even think of words to write what I am thinking (if that makes sense). I am a widow at the age of 23. Ella is doing okay, Addie just seems so sad. Addie is asking many questions, I think she too is wondering when her daddy is going to walk through the door. She does know her daddy is in heaven now though, so she is trying to think up every way possible to go see him in heaven. She asked why he can't just come down a ladder to see her or why can't she just get sick for a little while so she can go see her daddy? It just breaks my heart seeing her go through this. Me and the girls have had the greatest support possible. Marty has been helping out sooo much, along with Will and Kelly helping with the girls. The boys (Josh, Dan, and Eric) have been over here constantly, being a great distraction and helping out with some laughs around here. Tuesday, they helped put together an auto cross car for me to drive at the Newaygo County Fair! It was a lot of fun and it was nice to be distracted for a little bit. I was the ONLY girl driver- and I think I kicked some pretty good butt for it being my first year! Sean would have loved to see me out there, but I know he is out there watching over me and the girls. We had visitation for Sean Wednesday and his funeral was on Thursday. Wow, was that hard. There were quite a few memories shared and it sure does make me miss Sean more then ever. I have been doing okay during the day with all the distractions, I am trying to stay strong... but boy does it ever hit me hard at night. It just seems so quiet here- to much time to think. I don't ever want to go to bed because I am now going to bed alone. I feel so scared inside at night and every little noise I hear makes me jump. I could here some people say how they just had to make it through the funeral, but for me- the funeral was the easiest part, now I have a whole life ahead of me. I have never lived on my own before, Sean and I have been with each other for almost 7 years now (since I was 16!) and we have been married for 4 years. We moved in together in 2002 and bought our first house in 2003.
On Friday, I attended another visitation/memorial service. This time it was for a guy I went to school with. I did not know him well, just the occasional hi if he were hanging out with some of the people I hung out with. He was 24 like Sean and also passed away of cancer this week. He also left behind a two year old little boy. It seems so unreal that two 24 year old guys in the same town can pass away of cancer leaving their families behind in the same week. Please, if you are praying for our family, send an extra pray to Fred Routers family, as I know what they are going through and it is not easy.
Thanks for all the continued support everyone has been giving. We love you all,
~nicole and the girls~

visitation and funeral info...

noreply@blogger.com (the Shields family) — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 16:36:00 +0000

Sean's visitation will be today from 2:00 to 4:00 and 7:00 to 9:00 at Mickinley Funeral Home in Newaygo, Mich. His funeral will be at First Baptist Church in Fremont, Mich. We will proceed to Maple Grove Cemetery in Fremont, then return to the church for a luncheon. Please visit http://www.mckinleyfuneral.com/Obits/2008/Obits/seanshields/obit.htm to view Sean's obituary.

A turn for the worse by Kelly - Sean's Mom-

noreply@blogger.com (the Shields family) — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 17:06:00 +0000

~ 11:56AM Saturday August 2nd, 2008 Sean's heart beat for the last time. With Nicole by his side, encouraging Addie and Ella to say good bye to Daddy - There were also six of us there Nikki's Mom Fonda, Sean's Dad's Marty & Will, Sean's sister Kasey and I. We were just trying our best to follow Nikki's Brave courage. There were four of Sean's knuckle head friends in the waiting room - Eric, Jesse, Big Josh and Dan. I thought it was the coolest things that they drove all that way that early in the AM - it touched my heart to tears. This is really difficult to type - as my heart breaks! But STILL there is much to be thankful for! In fact just a few short weeks ago I asked Sean what HE was thankful to God for and HE said his health.!? Sean was having a pretty good week - you know as good as anyone in a hospital having chemo-therapy can have. The chemo was at night which gave him and Nikki more freedom in the day. Nikki said that on one AM Sean started a walk down to the "nutrition" room to get sugar for his coffee and he wheeled his IV all the way down and Nikki caught up to him and realized that he wasn't even hooked up to his IV -of course Nikki thought this was hysterical - Sean threw some sugar packets at her to get her to Stop laughing. I'm especially thankful for this laughter
A TURN FOR THE WORSE happened when they tried to wake him Friday to get his vitals. Without being there myself I really can't say any of the details. But I do know that things never really did get any better. They did a EEG that AM and another one Saturday AM - both of them showed very little to no brain activity and although his heart was fine his breathing was happening only by a machine. That's all I have to say about that.
I find myself thinking about Sean and Nikki and when Nikki was in labor for Addie - I think about how I was always so impressed with Sean's support to Nikki as she had such bad back labor - Sean stood over Nikki (what seemed like hours) with his hand on Nikki's back (just so) to ease her suffering the best way he could. I guess I was thinking about that because Nikki's support for Sean through this was SO (I don't have word's to accurately describe). Her love and support for Sean was just amazing and her growing intelligence about all the medical knowledge was mind boggling to me. No one could have done a better job than Nicole! We are so thankful to God for Sean's LIFE. People ask, and you may be wondering what YOU can do - Please be thankful to God with us as he allows us to live forever by the power of His blood. Of course we ask him to heal our broken hearts (especially Nicole's, Addie's & Ella's). Thanks for keeping us in your prayers too.

Day 2--Biochemo without the bio!

noreply@blogger.com (the Shields family) — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 16:43:00 +0000

We are in Chicago now. After getting the MRI results on Friday, Dr.Hallmeyer decided to start Sean back up on biochemo, but without the bio! No biological therapy until Sean is off of steroids, so he will just be receiving the chemo part of it this week. The MRI showed a lot of swelling and some bleeding on Sean's tumors, so his Decadron was increased and he will be on it a while longer. He will be getting a follow up MRI probably sometime next week to see if there is any change. They do not know whether Sean's tumors are bleeding because they are dying or if they are just bleeding because melanoma sucks.

So.... Sean finished his first dose of chemo last night. He is feeling great, he does not even have to be hooked up to any IVs during the day! No side effects yet--wahoo! Hopefully it will stay that way for the rest of the week. He will finish up the last dose Thursday night, so hopefully we will be able to go home on Friday (because we love driving in Chicago's Friday traffic).

Anyways, the hospital is boring, the food is horrible and its hot! Ok-- theres my complaining for the week! I will update soon to let everyone know how the rest of the week goes... Thanks everyone!

~nicole~

well...

noreply@blogger.com (the Shields family) — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 17:01:00 +0000

So much has been going on these pass few days, I don't think I am even sure what is going on! Sean ended up having another seizure on Sunday. It was much less intense and all of our friends were over that night, so it was nice having the help and support while it happened. Sean stayed completely conscious during the whole seizure this time also. He chose not to go to the hospital that time and he has not had another one since. He has NOT had an MRI yet, which I am quite upset about. He did have a CT of the brain the first night we were at the hospital, which does show swelling on his brain. (Although we were completely misinformed at the hospital that night, as the doctor had said there was not much swelling and that the CT did not look much different to Sean's CT a few months ago, so at that point we really didn't know why Sean was having seizures.) The swelling is more then likely caused by the whole brain radiation done a couple weeks ago and probably the cause of Sean's seizures. We finally have an MRI scheduled for tomorrow now and Sean will be seeing Dr.Hallmeyer in Chicago on Friday to go over everything. We really do not know what is going on at this point as Sean was suppose to start round 3 of biochemo this coming Monday, but I am not sure he will since his steroids have been bumped back up. I guess we will find out more Friday. I will try to get another update up this weekend to let everyone know whats going on... We need tons of prayer right now!

~nicole~

We had a bad day...

noreply@blogger.com (the Shields family) — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 14:26:00 +0000

Well, instead of goinf out to celebrate out anniversary yesterday afternoon we ended up stayin gat the hospital for hours because Sean had a seizure. I had just ran into a store for less then 5 minutes while Sean waited out in the car. When I got back to the car, I let Sean know that I did not find what I was looking for (a hat for Addie). He said okay and not even a couple seconds later he started making a noise-he was trying to yell to me, but his face had started to seize... he was trying to spit his gum out, so my first reaction, I thought he was choking, but after he was able to spit his gum out, I realized he was having a seizure. He had both of our phones in his pocket and somehow adrenaline must of kicked in and he was not unconscious yet... he was able to grab his phone for me, so I able to call an ambulance and ask some people at the store for help. Sean seizure, even though seemed like it lasted forever, stopped pretty quickly and the ambulance also showed up quite fast. One of the scariest part about all this was after Sean came out the seizure and was conscious again, we though the right side of his face was paralyzed. If he tried smiling, only half of his mouth would smile. He was also having a hard time talking right, his speech was really mumbly and slurred. After we had been at the hospital, Sean's face started to return to normal as well as his speech. They did a CT scan of Sean's brain, it doesn't look much different then what it did before, just a little swelling on one of his tumors. They pumped Sean full of some Dilantin (seizure medicine) and upped his Decadron a little. After they pumped Sean full of the Dilantin, he started getting extremely nauseous and dizzy. They then gave him Zofran, which did not work, so they tried Compazine, which helped a little, but the dizziness was still there, so then they gave him some Valium. So Sean was pumped quite full with medications before they were able to release him from the hospital! The doctor had said that the nausea and dizziness was more then likely caused by the huge dose of Dilantin that they had given him so quickly. We were able to come home last night, Sean is doing fairly well now, just a slight headache and his coordination is a little off. We will be on the phone with all of Sean's oncologists first thing Monday morning to see what the next steo should be and to possibly get an MRI scheduled. I will keep everyone updated as soon as we find out what is going on.

Happy Anniversary and Summer Fun!!!

noreply@blogger.com (the Shields family) — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 05:20:00 +0000

Today is Sean and my 4th anniversary! 4 years! We are going to be going out for the weekend to celebrate, wahoo! Boy does time fly! I LOVE YOU SEAN!! Happy Anniversary!

Our summer has been sooo busy... we have definitely had the chance to get out and have some fun! Here are a bunch of photos from activities we have done so far this summer!

Our county held a charity event to help with funds for Newaygo County Community Services... It was Mudbowl Mania! Here is Sean's sister Kasey and her boyfriend. As you can see--mud volleyball was quite fun!

Kasey and Rickey
This isn't our team, but I thought I would post it so you can see what our court looked like!
FUN~FUN!!!!
We were also able to make it over to the sand dunes! We absolultely love driving over there, relaxing, yet crazy adrenaline at the same time... so much fun! Hope to make it back there again soon.

Eric's truck in a puddle--looks like it rained quite a bit before we were up there!
How could you NOT fall in with such a cute innocent little face??
More of the gorgeous view...

and here is from today::
Gerber Baby Food Festival Coorporate Olympics
yes that is my hand feeding his face--blindfolded!!!

Who says you can't ride a tricycle when your over 6ft tall?
(by the way Justin P-- congrats on the new baby girl!!)~nicole~

Good news and bad news...

noreply@blogger.com (the Shields family) — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 02:42:00 +0000

Well... Sean seen Dr.Hallmeyer in Chicago today. He was able to have CT scans on Tuesday, so we went over the results for that. Here comes the good news and bad news! Bad news- there are 2 new tumors, one on his pelvis and one in the soft tissue near his stomach area. The tumors are still fairly small and they are NOT in main organs, so that is good. The good news is that the tumor in Sean's lung has been shrinking! It used to take up about 75% of the upper left lobe and about all of the lower left lobe. Now, the entire upper left lobe is free from disease! The tumor does still cover about 2/3 of the lower left lobe, but it is still shrinking!! We are relating the 2 new tumors to the fact that Sean has not been on any treatment (except for his brain) for 3 months. We discussed options of what Sean should do next, it was a toss up between biochemo and the MDX-010 trial. We decided to go with biochemo because of the response Sean's lung has showed, reserving MDX for a later date. So... Sean is dreading the return to the long, crappy hospital stays! He will start round 3 on July 28th because they want to wait until Sean is completely off the steroids from WBR. Oh yeah, Sean also had some bloodwork done up here last week and the results came out pretty descent! His white blood count is still a little high, at about 22,000 (supposed to be between 4-10,000) and his red blood being the best since this has all started being over 12! (supposed to be around 14, but we will take what we can get as it was running around 8 for the last year!). Sean is still feeling pretty good, he has had a few headaches here and there though, nothing serious.
On our way home from Chicago today, Sean has been insisting that we have some Chicago style pizza, so we made the stop to Ginos East on Wells St. I must say, I didn't think I would care for the deep dish pizza, but it was great! Their service was great and so was the pizza! Not to mention, the pizzeria was awesome inside, having graffiti everywhere! So anyways.. thumbs up to Ginos and their Chicago style pizza.
I think Sean and I are just going to try to take these next few weeks off and enjoy summer before he returns to his treatment at the end of the month... Thanks for everyones prayers that have been sent, they are obviously working!
~nicole~

whole brain radiation: DONE!!!

noreply@blogger.com (the Shields family) — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 15:49:00 +0000

Sean finished his last whole brain radiation treatment today! Yay! Today they let him take his mask home that he had to wear during each treatment. As soon as I get a photo of that, I will have to post it. He is still feeling fairly well, just getting over a sinus infection... Unfortunately I have been sick also and I have no voice today, blah.

Our days have been extremely busy this summer, seems we have plans everyday for the rest of the summer! We enjoyed many cookouts and get togethers this holiday weekend. I am heading back to work for a few days this week, then Thursday we are heading over to Chicago. Sean's appointment is not until Friday over there, but we figure we will go a day early because Sean wants pizza!! : )! He has been eating so well lately, he gained another 6lbs this week! He is definitely starting to look like his old self again. Saturday I will be participating in Mud Bowl Mania, a charity event to help raise funds for Newaygo County Community Services (NCCS). I am sooo looking forward to playing volleyball in the mud! I will have to show Sean how to use the camera so he can take some photos : )! Here is the link if you would like more info on the tournament: http://mudbowlmania.com/ . I think we are going to attempt to make it out to the dunes on Sunday. Sean has only been there once this summer so far and I have not been able to go at all yet! We were planning on going over there for the 4th, but our plans changed a bit when one of our friends ended up taking off to California on very short notice to fight the fires over there! We are definitely sending some well wishes and prayers over to California to all of those who are being affected by the fires.
The girls are doing well. Addie is going through a major nightmare phase right now. She is always talking about the wolves and monsters that are going to come get her. Poor girl : (. Ella is still the happiest baby around, but boy can she throw a fit! We were going to start potty training soon, we got her a new potty, but she happens to be just like her mommy and is a little on the short side--she cannot reach t sit on the potty (a potty training potty!). Looks like we are gonna have to wait a couple more months!
I am including a few photos, one is from now and the other is from March of this year. It is amazing the difference of what Sean looks like in each photo. It goes to show how strong he is and how he is not going to let this cancer crap take him down!

Sean in March 2008- he weighed less then 110lbs.

Sean Now! Up to 132lbs and looking good : )!
(please don't mind my extremely squinty eyes in this photo!)~nicole~

Okay, here they are... photos for fun!!

noreply@blogger.com (the Shields family) — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 04:43:00 +0000

Before it all came off... : )

During...
(I tried getting him to go to Walmart like this, but he wasn't going for it)

Does my hair look ok like this?

The after! Bald really is beautiful, isn't it : )!

Also, I had my stitches taken out today and results for the biopsy came back benign! Wahoo!

~nicole~

Well....

noreply@blogger.com (the Shields family) — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 02:36:00 +0000

Tonight Sean finally lost his hair! Well, he didn't lose all of it, but it was coming out in clumps, so he decided to shave it the rest of the way. (Really fun photos coming soon!). Sean has finished 11 of the 15 WBR treatments already! I would say he is still feeling great, but unfortunately he came down with a cold the other day and its starting to bring him down a bit. So far our summer has been going well, we have spent many days outdoors, cooking on the grill, hanging out with friends, and letting the girls run about. Anyways... I will update SOON with photos, so stay tuned in for the next couple of days!!!

~nicole~

P.S. Tomorrow I will be getting my stitches out from my biopsy and hopefully I will also be getting the results from that!

6 down-9 to go!

noreply@blogger.com (the Shields family) — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 03:14:00 +0000

Wahoo! Sean has done 6 treatments so far and he has been feeling great! He virtually has had no side effects from the radiation so far... He has been on steroids to help prevent his brain from swelling while doing radiation, and he has been eating so much because of them! That has been a good side effect for him, as he has gained 5lbs! He feels good for the most part, he continues to become stronger, and we are just living life... Sean's dad, Marty, has been staying with us now also to help out. It has been nice having another person around helping out (like, our lawn can actually get mowed now : )! Also, the girls just love him, so they have been having a ball being able to spend so much time with him. Today, I had a mole of my own biopsied. I must admit, I was scared! It hurts quite a bit right now, but I think it is because I can't keep my mind off of it and every time I move it pulls on the stitches. ouch. I should be getting the results from it within a week. Hoping for some benign results! On July 11th, Sean will have his next appointment in Chicago and we will probably figure out the NEXT plan of action... Please keep the prayers coming, thank you all so much! ~nicole~

2 down, 13 to go.

noreply@blogger.com (the Shields family) — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 03:27:00 +0000

WBR treatments that is... Sean began whole brain radiation on Monday. So far, side effects have been minimal, but they are known to accumulate, so he probably will not be feeling as hot by the end of the week. Sean has been feeling good, other then the fact that he has had hiccups since Sunday when he started the Decadron. He will have a total of 15 treatments, one each day Monday through Friday, having the weekends off. Well, thats all for now, if anyone has any questions about anything, please do feel free to ask! Sometimes I forget that sometimes you all may have no clue of what I am talking about... Please keep the prayers coming! ~nicole~

Whole Brain Radiation it is...

noreply@blogger.com (the Shields family) — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 04:34:00 +0000

Okay, after much research, consultations and everything in between, Sean's best option seems to be whole brain radiation. Which sucks, but we are dealing with it and we need to get the ball rolling! I am definitely scared of this treatment and the side effects that may come with it... so for now, I am trying to stick with the positive. Things Sean has going for him that may help minimize WBR side effects are that he is young, his karnofsky score* is descent, he seems to be getting stronger and stronger each day and his lung seems to be stable. He is not to worried about the hair loss symptom (I think he like sporting the bald look after chemo-bald is beautiful!). Our hopes are for him to get this WBR done and behind us and he will possibly start MDX-010 shortly after. Thanks everyone who have been thinking of us. I will let everyone know when we know when Sean will start WBR. ~nicole~

*The Karnofsky score is another method which measures patient performance of activities of daily living

change in plans maybe??

noreply@blogger.com (the Shields family) — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 04:13:00 +0000

I have been in contact with the Gamma Knife specialist in Midland, we have actually spoke with each other quite a few times now! The plans were, for Sean to start whole brain radiation this week. But.... Sean now may still have the chance to have Gamma Knife instead of whole brain radiation. Gamma Knife doesn't really involve a knife, it is actually a type of radiation. With Gamma Knife, doctors are able to radiate only where a tumor is, without damaging surrounding tissue. The thing with Sean though, is that he has multiple tumors (counted 14), and if they do gamma rather then whole brain radiation, then he risks the chance of many more tumors popping up. Usually the maximum tumors they will treat with gamma is 6-7, but we are hoping that the neurosurgeon will go above and beyond and give Sean more then just the standard of care. Gamma knife has its risks, but after MUCH research, whole brain radiation seems to have more risks, particularly with the side effects of possible dementia and long lasting fatigue. On Thursday, we will be heading over to Midland, Michigan for Sean's appointment with the neurosurgeon (gamma knife specialist). We will discuss Sean's options, whether they are willing to give Sean a chance with gamma knife. If they do decide to do gamma, we will stay in Midland Thursday night and Sean will have gamma done on Friday. (The other plus, it is only a one day treatment). Please PRAY, keep your fingers crossed, whatever you can spare, we need all we can get this week! I will definitely try to get in update in after our appointment on Thursday to let everyone know what is going on, thanks for keeping us in your thoughts! ~nicole~
P.S.~ here is a link to a site about gamma knife that describes it fairly well if you would like to read... http://www.virtualsciencefair.org/2006/cham6m2/how.html

Overwhelmed!

noreply@blogger.com (the Shields family) — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 19:24:00 +0000

Overwhelmed... that is the exactly how I feel at this very moment! Okay, update on everything-> Sean had his appointment down in Chicago last Friday. We found out there that Sean does have to many brain lesions for Gamma Knife, so Dr. Richards recommended whole brain radiation (WBR). Whole brain radiation (WBR) sounds so scary to me! Dr. Richards did explain some of the risks with WBR. Sean definitely has the benefit of being young and semi strong, as the risk of anything serious becomes a bit less. Sooo.. this Friday, Sean has an appointment here in Fremont with Dr.Orourke- which he will more then likely start WBR next Monday. The oncology office over there is wonderful, and they are already working on what they can to get that set up. As long as it is set up through Dr. Orourke's office, Sean will be getting radiation in Muskegon. Whole brain radiation is usually 2 weeks long for everyday, but weekends, so we may not be traveling as far, but now we have to travel EVERY day! blah. Usually during WBR, the patient (Sean) is put on steroids (Decadron) to help lessen or prevent swelling. We will be returning back to Chicago in a couple weeks also, which then, as long as Sean is off of steroids for at least a week-- he may start the ipilimubab (mdx-010, anti-ctla4) treatment! We know that his lung still seems to hold stable, but we would like to attempt more then just stable, and try for some regression of that mass.
This weekend, some friends and family held the benefit for Sean to help with medical, travel, misc. expenses... It turned out to be more then I thought it could ever be! It was held at Leighton Hall, and the hall seemed to be full the whole time! We had a pig roast, chicken bbq, games, auctions, clowns!, all sorts of fun things... A special thanks to Fondaleette (my mom), Kelly (Sean's mom), Mrs. Sharon Escalante, and Mary! Thank you so much for organizing this and for putting what all of you have into it! There were sooo many individuals, companies, corporations, and so on that have helped, I honestly do not even know where to start to thank everyone! I am so glad Sean was feeling well enough to be able to attend, I know it was great for him to be able to spend time with so many friends and family, especially the ones we have not seen in years! Thanks again everyone! Soooo... On our way to the benefit, since we have the best luck ever and all... I was driving down the road (Sean was with me) and all of a sudden, our tire decided to basically fall off--ok, so it was still attached, but it was on sideways?? I am not sure how to describe it... anyways the ball joint snapped and we were not able to drive it any longer. We came pretty close to smacking right into a a sign since i had no control of the car, fortunately it stopped just a couple feet from it! Thanks to a great friend of ours (Dan), we were able to get it fixed quickly and cheaper then it could of cost us! Thanks Dan, your awesome!
Right now I am having a little scare on my own.. I was finally able to make it to a doctors appointment for myself to have a mole that I have had for a long time checked out. The doctor said it looks a bit suspicious and would like to have it biopsied. : (. I have never had a biopsy myself, I am horrified! and not just horrified of the biopsy, but the outcome of it... the fear of knowing what could happen if I to had to deal with melanoma. The chances of it being melanoma are more then likely slim, but possible. I will have it removed on June 23rd, so please, please, everyone wish me luck! I am sure it is just nothing.
Sorry, this post has become more of just babbling, I am not even going to proof read it right now, so if all of my sentences are funky and I have a million misspelled words... oops. I will try to update soon, it has just been so hectic around here! ~nicole~

good news and bad news...

noreply@blogger.com (the Shields family) — Tue, 27 May 2008 20:30:00 +0000

I have been putting this post off, because i am having a really hard time posting it... On Friday, I went and picked up Sean's scan results, and unfortunately, Sean now has a few tumors in his brain. We are not sure how long they have been there, how many are there, where they are at... pretty much all we know at this point, is that there is something in there- and we also know that it needs to go! i have been on the phone all today with various doctors, oncologists, blah, blah, blah... I am thinking we will not have a definite plan of action for this until Sean's appointment in Chicago on Friday. The GOOD news-- Sean's lung continues to stay STABLE~! This gives us the time to work on getting Sean's brain back to normal! Hopefully by next week, Sean will be back on his way to fighting off this crap and be on his way to recovery! I don't have a lot of details at the moment, so as soon as I find out more, I promise I will have an update for everyone. Please continue with the many prayers we have been receiving, love
~nicole~