The Shields Family Updates

It could be worse--right?

2009-02-25T15:10:00.000-08:00

It seems finding a break from bad luck is hard to find around here! I look back at my past 2 years and all I can think about, is how did i survive all of this? Exactly 2 years from today,
I lost my best friend... and it has all seem to go down hill from there. Since then I have lost a few family members (my grandparents and my uncle), followed by the dreaded news of Sean having cancer and our long battle with that. Don't get me wrong, I have most definitely had some of the BEST times of my life during these psast 2 years also, including having Ella, having the best friends in the world, and falling in love with Sean all over again. I still have the hardest time waking up in the morning and not thinking--does it get any worse then this? Since Sean has died, I have had a few 'mishaps' if that may be what I call them... including, but not limited to(!) almost starting my house on fire (twice! ha.), having my vehicle break down on me (twice) and having more drama in my life then i had in highschool--causing me to lose the friendship of a best friend and for the big topper--rolling my grand cherokee a few weeks ago! Yes, I crashed my jeep--so scary. Which, has put the thought of what happens if something were to ever happen to me? What happens with the girls--who will take care of them, how could they cope with losing another parent? and yada yada yada... I mean, I KNOW that I definitely have people that I could count on to raise the girls for me, but it is still hard to process the possibility of that happening. I guess with all this bad stuff happening to me, I have had so many point out to me how I have so much to be thankful for also though... like, when I rolled my Jeep, it really could have been so much worse--i walked away from it (ok, so when i eventually managed to get out of the dang thing). I thankfully managed to only have a few cuts and bruises, which most would be pretty surprised if they had seen my jeep in the ditch upside down. I had full coverage insurance, so I was able to get another grand cherokee on Monday and in the mean time, Dan let me borrow a spare car that he had. I am also sooo very thankful that I have my daughters--they are definitely the best part of my life and it really helps to keep me strong, knowing they need me to be there for them. anyways....
The girls are doing great! Addie is 4 now--omgoodness! and Ella Bella's birthday is coming up VERY quickly~she will be 2 on March 7th! Ella has started potty training and has successfully used the potty ONE time-haha. I am also working on breaking her from the binky, and that has been going so-so. Addie is the smartest girl ever! It amazes me at what she learns every single day. I have been doing good also all in all--despite everything. I have been working on losing weight the past couple of months--totaling 31 pounds!!! My goal now is to lose another 15 by May--so wish me luck! Work has not been to bad for me and school is something I am still looking forward to in the near future--I wanted to start this winter, but the whole me needing to take my ACT's has postponed that until this coming fall... Thats about all for now--I would really like to update with some photos soon, but my computer is down (again), so I have been using Sean's mac and I have no clue how to upload photos to this thing! Sooo... maybe I will get that thing fixed soon, so I can update again! Thanks for hanging in here with me even though I am a HUGE slacker when it comes to updating this thing...

~nicole~

here goes nothin!!

2008-12-08T16:47:00.000-08:00

Wow! Has it been a long time since I have updated... So much has been going on since I last updated. We have made it through so much these past 4 months plus. We celebrated Sean's 25th birthday on Oct. 9th--that day started out soooo hard. The girls and I along with Will, Kelly and Josh all went over to the cemetery that day, so the girls could release some birthday balloons up to heaven for Sean. Addie loved it, she was so excited to send messages up to her daddy. Later on that night, one of the girls from daycare took Addie and Ella over night, so I was able to just spend time with the guys. We spent the night just having fun and doing the things Sean would have loved to do... Then halloween--I remember last year on halloween, it was shortly after Sean had started his chemo, so he only made it to a few places before he ended up just taking Ella home (she had crashed anyways before we even started trick or treating!) while Addie and I finished up our night or trick or treating. So, this was sort of like Ella's first halloween--she loved it! Josh came along with the girls and I to help out and I was so proud of how well the behaved out there! Then of course Thanksgiving... this year I decided to host our HUGE family Thanksgiving--I must say it was a bit overwhelming and I had even come down with the flu or something the night before, but it really was nice to have the distraction keeping busy. We even had an incident of the house catching on fire the night before! Now it is December. AHHHH!! December! I can say that all of these holidays are definitely bringing on a bit of stress and anxiety... I am not sure what the plans are for Christmas yet--just that I will be going to my mom's family Christmas party on Christmas Eve, but no plans for Christmas day at the moment. My friends have been so great these past four months, I honestly do not know how I would have survived without them! On Saturday, they all came along with the girls and I to pick out a Christmas tree, and they will hopefully be coming over Wednesday to help decorate it... We have been doing a dinner night here, at my house every Wednesday night and every week I look forward to that night to be able to be with the best group ever. I had never thought that I would be in a group of friends as close as ours even though we are "all grown up now".
The girls have been doing ok. Ella talks up a storm, ever since she was able to learn one word, she has not stopped talking! We ventured a little into the potty training, but were not getting to far with that! She is also still hooked on her binky--I was always the one to say I would never let a toddler walk around with a binky in their mouth! but unfortunately, it wasa huge security thing for and after all she has been through, I do not think it would be appropriate to take it away from her quite yet--so I guess I will more then likely have a two year old walking around with a binky in her mouth! Poor Ella has had the flu for the past few days now and has been throwing up everyday all day--she is such a good sport about it though, she does not cry when she throws up, she just gets this disgusted look on her face and says "yuk, I'm sick, yuk" in her tiny little voice! Addie--she is the smartest 3 year old ever, I swear! She just finished counting to 100 for me a few minutes ago! 100~WOW! She has been so interested in learning to read lately, anytime someone comes over that has writing on their shirt or something she has to spell it out... She knows how to write all of the letters of the alphabet and she is working on how to sound the letters out now. She asks so many questions constantly--and not just the 'why' phase, but she really gets into detail-- "mom, why does it snow? why is the snow white? why is the snow wet?" and it goes on and on and on!
Sooo.... after we manage to make it through Christmas, then we have New Years, then Addie's birthday... and the list goes on! We have all been trying to be happy though, as much as we miss Sean, our lives still have to continue. I guess I better get going to bed here soon now, I have to be up early for work and it looks like I am going to have to head out extra early because of the snow storm! I will post tons of photos here as soon as I can--they are all on my computer, which is out of commission at the moment, so I am stuck using Sean's Mac, which I have no clue how to even upload photos onto... so stay tuned! thanks.

~nicole~

long over due update...

2008-09-21T11:55:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been over seven weeks since everything. I would say seven long weeks, but honestly, time has been flying by. It feels like just yesterday Sean was right by my side. The girls and I miss him beyond words. People say it gets better, but lately everything has been a bit overwhelming. He is really not coming back. I am thankful I still have my friends here by my side everyday, not a day goes by that someone does not stop and see the girls and I. I have said this before, but I don't know what I would do without them! Still trying to stay busy, still working, still getting out and about... The girls are doing great! Ella is transitioning into the terrible twos, thats for sure! Addie loves to talk about Sean everyday. This past week was family week at school for her, so I was a little worried about that, but she took it quite well~ It was a little hard for me--as the kids had made a chart showing how many people were in each their family and Addie's name was under the "3 in our family" section. I still like to think that their are 4 people in our family, so that was a kick in the butt I would have to say!
I have been going over a lot of stuff and I am trying to figure out a plan so that I am able to go back to college this winter. I am hoping to go for my bachelors in nursing! I have learned so much throughout Sean's journey, that I would love to be one of the lovely nurses who I know helped us so much. A year ago, I would say no way to something like this, but gone through everything Sean and I have been through, I feel I can do anything! It is definitely going to be a bit of a juggle--school, work, kids, friends... but I NEED to do it! I am looking forward to it and hopefully it will be a much needed distraction for me.
No big plans for us here in the near future, but I am hoping to take a vacation sometime soon-- i need one. Thanks everyone for sticking by my side! I love you all!
~nicole~

SEAN SHIELDS MEMORIAL MUD RUN: PHOTOS~PART TWO!!!

2008-09-12T09:03:00.001-07:00

where did all this mud come from you ask?

yup--i sure do know how to drive what the big boys do!

good job amber!!! i knew you could take big josh down on your own!

SEAN SHIELDS MEMORIAL MUD RUN: PHOTOS~PART ONE!!!

2008-09-11T22:07:00.000-07:00

Sorry it took so long for the photos!! Here are a few to start with--more coming soon!!

Sean and I have the greatest friends--I am sure you can tell from this photo!
Don't know what I would do without them!

SEAN'S JEEP!!!
(yeah--thats me driving! as mel says: "watch out wossie boys" :)!

ummmmm.... ouch.
ok--so they are not nice allllll the time!
(thanks kieth, i really needed that.)

GO MEL! it sure does take a girl...

AND THE BEAUTY PAGEANT WINNERS ARE...
nikki~dan~amber~kara
(wow-- i know people tell me i have a big mouth, but i guess it's confirmed!)

That is just a few~ I am definitely going to post more soon!

THANK YOU ALL SOOOOOO MUCH!!!

2008-09-03T11:30:00.000-07:00

Mud run was Saturday and it was unbelievable! There was a huge turn out--everything was perfect only if Sean were there... The boys got the Jeep going, so I was able to attempt the mud pit- I didn't make it to far in though-- all well, always next year for that! It was a blast, after I had got the Jeep stuck in the middle of the mud pit, Kieth decided to pull me out of the Jeep and throw me into the mud pit. Wow, was that fun and dirty : )! Sean sure as heck was a great friend to so many and I could not stop thinking about him the whole time. We were still able to have a great time though and hanging out with everyone there made it feel like Sean was right there with us. I cannot thank the Deater's (and Rollston's) enough for this weekend. I wish there was something I could do for you all for putting this together! Kelly (Sean's mom) even got to take a ride through the mud! (poor Kelly, I wouldn't trust riding in a vehicle with Big Josh!). We truly had a blast there and it was nice to be able to smile that much. Along with all the fun, memories, and friends... The Deater's also raised close to $2,400 to put toward Sean's funeral cost!! What a huge amount of stress taken away having that help! Thank you!!!! Last night Mel came over to bring me a scrapbook that she had put together from the mud run. It is the greatest thing anyone could have ever done for me and the girls and it is something we will always have to remind us all how much we love and miss Sean and what a great, outgoing guy he was! There were tons of photos and videos taken of the whole event-- I cannot wait to get some so I can post them here!
It is so hard to believe Sean has been gone for a month now. It has been the busiest yet longest month of my life. I hate being alone, I try to stay busy, but there is only so much I can do. The girls are doing great, Addie still talks about her dadda everyday. My friends continue to be here for me every single day and I am quite thankful for that as I don't know what I would do without them! Right now I am just wishing summer would last forever...
Stay tuned for photos-- I am hoping to have them up before the end of the week!!
Love to all, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!

~nicole~

MUD RUN TODAY!!!

2008-08-29T23:29:00.000-07:00

Today is the day. It's actually 2:30 a.m., so I still have a few hours until the mud run actually starts, but it has been a bit difficult to sleep these days. Sean and I have the greatest friends in the world and they have been working day and night putting Sean's Jeep together and making it mud ready, so I am able to drive it in the run today!!! I am so thrilled. I am so touched? that they have done this in honor of Sean. This has really been making me miss Sean sooooo much. I just wish he could be at this mud run.
I have been working the past couple of weeks now, and as much as I want to be at work to keep me busy, I still feel like I am having a hard time working. My anxiety really starts to kick in while I am there!
The girls are doing good. Ella is becoming so big! She is constantly talking! Addie has become a repeat (oops), so hopefully my child does not repeat some of the things she says at daycare!
Well, finally getting tired--I will definitely be updating sometime shortly after the mud run!! Thanks.

~nicole~

feeling alone.

2008-08-18T17:59:00.000-07:00

I swear it has been the longest 16 days of my entire life. The girls and I are getting by, trying to stay busy. I will be going back to work tomorrow, I just need to be able to have something to do during the day. The girls will continue to go to daycare (which they love!), so that helps a lot! I miss Sean so much, it feels so weird without him. Today was the first time I actually went grocery shopping since Sean has been gone and it felt so weird. Skipping by his favorite foods, it just felt weird not buying them. Everything I do just feels so different... especially making an actual dinner because I feel like I am making it for just myself. I know I have the girls here with me, but I still feel so alone, especially at night. Hopefully returning to work will help me out a little.

Some exciting news::::AUGUST 30th, there will be a memorial mud run for Sean!!! It will be held at the Deaters mud pit starting at NOON. Thank you for all of those doing this in Sean's memory and helping us out!!! I think it will be a hard day for me as Sean has been talking nonstop about going to a mud run all summer. I wish he could be there, but I know he will be watching over. Please, everyone--stop out, it will be TONS of fun!! For more info get a hold of me, I will probably post more within a week or so about it.

Also, sorry for any unreturned phone calls, emails, letters, and so on... Every time I try to reply to something I have a hard time doing so. I really do appreciate it all-- THANK YOU!!

Love to all ~Nicole~

P.S. ~ Here is a photo of Sean the last week we were in Chicago. Even though Sean was going through treatment that week, he still always had a sense of humor!!

one week.

2008-08-09T23:15:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe that I have been without Sean for one week. It really doesn't seem real, I keep waiting for him to walk through the door. I cannot even think of words to write what I am thinking (if that makes sense). I am a widow at the age of 23. Ella is doing okay, Addie just seems so sad. Addie is asking many questions, I think she too is wondering when her daddy is going to walk through the door. She does know her daddy is in heaven now though, so she is trying to think up every way possible to go see him in heaven. She asked why he can't just come down a ladder to see her or why can't she just get sick for a little while so she can go see her daddy? It just breaks my heart seeing her go through this. Me and the girls have had the greatest support possible. Marty has been helping out sooo much, along with Will and Kelly helping with the girls. The boys (Josh, Dan, and Eric) have been over here constantly, being a great distraction and helping out with some laughs around here. Tuesday, they helped put together an auto cross car for me to drive at the Newaygo County Fair! It was a lot of fun and it was nice to be distracted for a little bit. I was the ONLY girl driver- and I think I kicked some pretty good butt for it being my first year! Sean would have loved to see me out there, but I know he is out there watching over me and the girls. We had visitation for Sean Wednesday and his funeral was on Thursday. Wow, was that hard. There were quite a few memories shared and it sure does make me miss Sean more then ever. I have been doing okay during the day with all the distractions, I am trying to stay strong... but boy does it ever hit me hard at night. It just seems so quiet here- to much time to think. I don't ever want to go to bed because I am now going to bed alone. I feel so scared inside at night and every little noise I hear makes me jump. I could here some people say how they just had to make it through the funeral, but for me- the funeral was the easiest part, now I have a whole life ahead of me. I have never lived on my own before, Sean and I have been with each other for almost 7 years now (since I was 16!) and we have been married for 4 years. We moved in together in 2002 and bought our first house in 2003.
On Friday, I attended another visitation/memorial service. This time it was for a guy I went to school with. I did not know him well, just the occasional hi if he were hanging out with some of the people I hung out with. He was 24 like Sean and also passed away of cancer this week. He also left behind a two year old little boy. It seems so unreal that two 24 year old guys in the same town can pass away of cancer leaving their families behind in the same week. Please, if you are praying for our family, send an extra pray to Fred Routers family, as I know what they are going through and it is not easy.
Thanks for all the continued support everyone has been giving. We love you all,
~nicole and the girls~

visitation and funeral info...

2008-08-06T09:36:00.000-07:00

Sean's visitation will be today from 2:00 to 4:00 and 7:00 to 9:00 at Mickinley Funeral Home in Newaygo, Mich. His funeral will be at First Baptist Church in Fremont, Mich. We will proceed to Maple Grove Cemetery in Fremont, then return to the church for a luncheon. Please visit http://www.mckinleyfuneral.com/Obits/2008/Obits/seanshields/obit.htm to view Sean's obituary.

A turn for the worse by Kelly - Sean's Mom-

2008-08-03T10:06:00.000-07:00

~ 11:56AM Saturday August 2nd, 2008 Sean's heart beat for the last time. With Nicole by his side, encouraging Addie and Ella to say good bye to Daddy - There were also six of us there Nikki's Mom Fonda, Sean's Dad's Marty & Will, Sean's sister Kasey and I. We were just trying our best to follow Nikki's Brave courage. There were four of Sean's knuckle head friends in the waiting room - Eric, Jesse, Big Josh and Dan. I thought it was the coolest things that they drove all that way that early in the AM - it touched my heart to tears. This is really difficult to type - as my heart breaks! But STILL there is much to be thankful for! In fact just a few short weeks ago I asked Sean what HE was thankful to God for and HE said his health.!? Sean was having a pretty good week - you know as good as anyone in a hospital having chemo-therapy can have. The chemo was at night which gave him and Nikki more freedom in the day. Nikki said that on one AM Sean started a walk down to the "nutrition" room to get sugar for his coffee and he wheeled his IV all the way down and Nikki caught up to him and realized that he wasn't even hooked up to his IV -of course Nikki thought this was hysterical - Sean threw some sugar packets at her to get her to Stop laughing. I'm especially thankful for this laughter
A TURN FOR THE WORSE happened when they tried to wake him Friday to get his vitals. Without being there myself I really can't say any of the details. But I do know that things never really did get any better. They did a EEG that AM and another one Saturday AM - both of them showed very little to no brain activity and although his heart was fine his breathing was happening only by a machine. That's all I have to say about that.
I find myself thinking about Sean and Nikki and when Nikki was in labor for Addie - I think about how I was always so impressed with Sean's support to Nikki as she had such bad back labor - Sean stood over Nikki (what seemed like hours) with his hand on Nikki's back (just so) to ease her suffering the best way he could. I guess I was thinking about that because Nikki's support for Sean through this was SO (I don't have word's to accurately describe). Her love and support for Sean was just amazing and her growing intelligence about all the medical knowledge was mind boggling to me. No one could have done a better job than Nicole! We are so thankful to God for Sean's LIFE. People ask, and you may be wondering what YOU can do - Please be thankful to God with us as he allows us to live forever by the power of His blood. Of course we ask him to heal our broken hearts (especially Nicole's, Addie's & Ella's). Thanks for keeping us in your prayers too.

Day 2--Biochemo without the bio!

2008-07-29T09:43:00.000-07:00

We are in Chicago now. After getting the MRI results on Friday, Dr.Hallmeyer decided to start Sean back up on biochemo, but without the bio! No biological therapy until Sean is off of steroids, so he will just be receiving the chemo part of it this week. The MRI showed a lot of swelling and some bleeding on Sean's tumors, so his Decadron was increased and he will be on it a while longer. He will be getting a follow up MRI probably sometime next week to see if there is any change. They do not know whether Sean's tumors are bleeding because they are dying or if they are just bleeding because melanoma sucks.

So.... Sean finished his first dose of chemo last night. He is feeling great, he does not even have to be hooked up to any IVs during the day! No side effects yet--wahoo! Hopefully it will stay that way for the rest of the week. He will finish up the last dose Thursday night, so hopefully we will be able to go home on Friday (because we love driving in Chicago's Friday traffic).

Anyways, the hospital is boring, the food is horrible and its hot! Ok-- theres my complaining for the week! I will update soon to let everyone know how the rest of the week goes... Thanks everyone!

~nicole~

well...

2008-07-23T10:01:00.000-07:00

So much has been going on these pass few days, I don't think I am even sure what is going on! Sean ended up having another seizure on Sunday. It was much less intense and all of our friends were over that night, so it was nice having the help and support while it happened. Sean stayed completely conscious during the whole seizure this time also. He chose not to go to the hospital that time and he has not had another one since. He has NOT had an MRI yet, which I am quite upset about. He did have a CT of the brain the first night we were at the hospital, which does show swelling on his brain. (Although we were completely misinformed at the hospital that night, as the doctor had said there was not much swelling and that the CT did not look much different to Sean's CT a few months ago, so at that point we really didn't know why Sean was having seizures.) The swelling is more then likely caused by the whole brain radiation done a couple weeks ago and probably the cause of Sean's seizures. We finally have an MRI scheduled for tomorrow now and Sean will be seeing Dr.Hallmeyer in Chicago on Friday to go over everything. We really do not know what is going on at this point as Sean was suppose to start round 3 of biochemo this coming Monday, but I am not sure he will since his steroids have been bumped back up. I guess we will find out more Friday. I will try to get another update up this weekend to let everyone know whats going on... We need tons of prayer right now!

~nicole~

We had a bad day...

2008-07-19T07:26:00.000-07:00

Well, instead of goinf out to celebrate out anniversary yesterday afternoon we ended up stayin gat the hospital for hours because Sean had a seizure. I had just ran into a store for less then 5 minutes while Sean waited out in the car. When I got back to the car, I let Sean know that I did not find what I was looking for (a hat for Addie). He said okay and not even a couple seconds later he started making a noise-he was trying to yell to me, but his face had started to seize... he was trying to spit his gum out, so my first reaction, I thought he was choking, but after he was able to spit his gum out, I realized he was having a seizure. He had both of our phones in his pocket and somehow adrenaline must of kicked in and he was not unconscious yet... he was able to grab his phone for me, so I able to call an ambulance and ask some people at the store for help. Sean seizure, even though seemed like it lasted forever, stopped pretty quickly and the ambulance also showed up quite fast. One of the scariest part about all this was after Sean came out the seizure and was conscious again, we though the right side of his face was paralyzed. If he tried smiling, only half of his mouth would smile. He was also having a hard time talking right, his speech was really mumbly and slurred. After we had been at the hospital, Sean's face started to return to normal as well as his speech. They did a CT scan of Sean's brain, it doesn't look much different then what it did before, just a little swelling on one of his tumors. They pumped Sean full of some Dilantin (seizure medicine) and upped his Decadron a little. After they pumped Sean full of the Dilantin, he started getting extremely nauseous and dizzy. They then gave him Zofran, which did not work, so they tried Compazine, which helped a little, but the dizziness was still there, so then they gave him some Valium. So Sean was pumped quite full with medications before they were able to release him from the hospital! The doctor had said that the nausea and dizziness was more then likely caused by the huge dose of Dilantin that they had given him so quickly. We were able to come home last night, Sean is doing fairly well now, just a slight headache and his coordination is a little off. We will be on the phone with all of Sean's oncologists first thing Monday morning to see what the next steo should be and to possibly get an MRI scheduled. I will keep everyone updated as soon as we find out what is going on.

Happy Anniversary and Summer Fun!!!

2008-07-17T22:20:00.000-07:00

Today is Sean and my 4th anniversary! 4 years! We are going to be going out for the weekend to celebrate, wahoo! Boy does time fly! I LOVE YOU SEAN!! Happy Anniversary!

Our summer has been sooo busy... we have definitely had the chance to get out and have some fun! Here are a bunch of photos from activities we have done so far this summer!

Our county held a charity event to help with funds for Newaygo County Community Services... It was Mudbowl Mania! Here is Sean's sister Kasey and her boyfriend. As you can see--mud volleyball was quite fun!

Kasey and Rickey
This isn't our team, but I thought I would post it so you can see what our court looked like!
FUN~FUN!!!!
We were also able to make it over to the sand dunes! We absolultely love driving over there, relaxing, yet crazy adrenaline at the same time... so much fun! Hope to make it back there again soon.

Eric's truck in a puddle--looks like it rained quite a bit before we were up there!
How could you NOT fall in with such a cute innocent little face??
More of the gorgeous view...

and here is from today::
Gerber Baby Food Festival Coorporate Olympics
yes that is my hand feeding his face--blindfolded!!!

Who says you can't ride a tricycle when your over 6ft tall?
(by the way Justin P-- congrats on the new baby girl!!)~nicole~

Good news and bad news...

2008-07-11T19:42:00.000-07:00

Well... Sean seen Dr.Hallmeyer in Chicago today. He was able to have CT scans on Tuesday, so we went over the results for that. Here comes the good news and bad news! Bad news- there are 2 new tumors, one on his pelvis and one in the soft tissue near his stomach area. The tumors are still fairly small and they are NOT in main organs, so that is good. The good news is that the tumor in Sean's lung has been shrinking! It used to take up about 75% of the upper left lobe and about all of the lower left lobe. Now, the entire upper left lobe is free from disease! The tumor does still cover about 2/3 of the lower left lobe, but it is still shrinking!! We are relating the 2 new tumors to the fact that Sean has not been on any treatment (except for his brain) for 3 months. We discussed options of what Sean should do next, it was a toss up between biochemo and the MDX-010 trial. We decided to go with biochemo because of the response Sean's lung has showed, reserving MDX for a later date. So... Sean is dreading the return to the long, crappy hospital stays! He will start round 3 on July 28th because they want to wait until Sean is completely off the steroids from WBR. Oh yeah, Sean also had some bloodwork done up here last week and the results came out pretty descent! His white blood count is still a little high, at about 22,000 (supposed to be between 4-10,000) and his red blood being the best since this has all started being over 12! (supposed to be around 14, but we will take what we can get as it was running around 8 for the last year!). Sean is still feeling pretty good, he has had a few headaches here and there though, nothing serious.
On our way home from Chicago today, Sean has been insisting that we have some Chicago style pizza, so we made the stop to Ginos East on Wells St. I must say, I didn't think I would care for the deep dish pizza, but it was great! Their service was great and so was the pizza! Not to mention, the pizzeria was awesome inside, having graffiti everywhere! So anyways.. thumbs up to Ginos and their Chicago style pizza.
I think Sean and I are just going to try to take these next few weeks off and enjoy summer before he returns to his treatment at the end of the month... Thanks for everyones prayers that have been sent, they are obviously working!
~nicole~

whole brain radiation: DONE!!!

2008-07-07T08:49:00.000-07:00

Sean finished his last whole brain radiation treatment today! Yay! Today they let him take his mask home that he had to wear during each treatment. As soon as I get a photo of that, I will have to post it. He is still feeling fairly well, just getting over a sinus infection... Unfortunately I have been sick also and I have no voice today, blah.

Our days have been extremely busy this summer, seems we have plans everyday for the rest of the summer! We enjoyed many cookouts and get togethers this holiday weekend. I am heading back to work for a few days this week, then Thursday we are heading over to Chicago. Sean's appointment is not until Friday over there, but we figure we will go a day early because Sean wants pizza!! : )! He has been eating so well lately, he gained another 6lbs this week! He is definitely starting to look like his old self again. Saturday I will be participating in Mud Bowl Mania, a charity event to help raise funds for Newaygo County Community Services (NCCS). I am sooo looking forward to playing volleyball in the mud! I will have to show Sean how to use the camera so he can take some photos : )! Here is the link if you would like more info on the tournament: http://mudbowlmania.com/ . I think we are going to attempt to make it out to the dunes on Sunday. Sean has only been there once this summer so far and I have not been able to go at all yet! We were planning on going over there for the 4th, but our plans changed a bit when one of our friends ended up taking off to California on very short notice to fight the fires over there! We are definitely sending some well wishes and prayers over to California to all of those who are being affected by the fires.
The girls are doing well. Addie is going through a major nightmare phase right now. She is always talking about the wolves and monsters that are going to come get her. Poor girl : (. Ella is still the happiest baby around, but boy can she throw a fit! We were going to start potty training soon, we got her a new potty, but she happens to be just like her mommy and is a little on the short side--she cannot reach t sit on the potty (a potty training potty!). Looks like we are gonna have to wait a couple more months!
I am including a few photos, one is from now and the other is from March of this year. It is amazing the difference of what Sean looks like in each photo. It goes to show how strong he is and how he is not going to let this cancer crap take him down!

Sean in March 2008- he weighed less then 110lbs.

Sean Now! Up to 132lbs and looking good : )!
(please don't mind my extremely squinty eyes in this photo!)~nicole~

Okay, here they are... photos for fun!!

2008-07-01T21:43:00.000-07:00

Before it all came off... : )

During...
(I tried getting him to go to Walmart like this, but he wasn't going for it)

Does my hair look ok like this?

The after! Bald really is beautiful, isn't it : )!

Also, I had my stitches taken out today and results for the biopsy came back benign! Wahoo!

~nicole~

Well....

2008-06-30T19:36:00.000-07:00

Tonight Sean finally lost his hair! Well, he didn't lose all of it, but it was coming out in clumps, so he decided to shave it the rest of the way. (Really fun photos coming soon!). Sean has finished 11 of the 15 WBR treatments already! I would say he is still feeling great, but unfortunately he came down with a cold the other day and its starting to bring him down a bit. So far our summer has been going well, we have spent many days outdoors, cooking on the grill, hanging out with friends, and letting the girls run about. Anyways... I will update SOON with photos, so stay tuned in for the next couple of days!!!

~nicole~

P.S. Tomorrow I will be getting my stitches out from my biopsy and hopefully I will also be getting the results from that!

6 down-9 to go!

2008-06-23T20:14:00.000-07:00

Wahoo! Sean has done 6 treatments so far and he has been feeling great! He virtually has had no side effects from the radiation so far... He has been on steroids to help prevent his brain from swelling while doing radiation, and he has been eating so much because of them! That has been a good side effect for him, as he has gained 5lbs! He feels good for the most part, he continues to become stronger, and we are just living life... Sean's dad, Marty, has been staying with us now also to help out. It has been nice having another person around helping out (like, our lawn can actually get mowed now : )! Also, the girls just love him, so they have been having a ball being able to spend so much time with him. Today, I had a mole of my own biopsied. I must admit, I was scared! It hurts quite a bit right now, but I think it is because I can't keep my mind off of it and every time I move it pulls on the stitches. ouch. I should be getting the results from it within a week. Hoping for some benign results! On July 11th, Sean will have his next appointment in Chicago and we will probably figure out the NEXT plan of action... Please keep the prayers coming, thank you all so much! ~nicole~

2 down, 13 to go.

2008-06-17T20:27:00.000-07:00

WBR treatments that is... Sean began whole brain radiation on Monday. So far, side effects have been minimal, but they are known to accumulate, so he probably will not be feeling as hot by the end of the week. Sean has been feeling good, other then the fact that he has had hiccups since Sunday when he started the Decadron. He will have a total of 15 treatments, one each day Monday through Friday, having the weekends off. Well, thats all for now, if anyone has any questions about anything, please do feel free to ask! Sometimes I forget that sometimes you all may have no clue of what I am talking about... Please keep the prayers coming! ~nicole~

Whole Brain Radiation it is...

2008-06-12T21:34:00.000-07:00

Okay, after much research, consultations and everything in between, Sean's best option seems to be whole brain radiation. Which sucks, but we are dealing with it and we need to get the ball rolling! I am definitely scared of this treatment and the side effects that may come with it... so for now, I am trying to stick with the positive. Things Sean has going for him that may help minimize WBR side effects are that he is young, his karnofsky score* is descent, he seems to be getting stronger and stronger each day and his lung seems to be stable. He is not to worried about the hair loss symptom (I think he like sporting the bald look after chemo-bald is beautiful!). Our hopes are for him to get this WBR done and behind us and he will possibly start MDX-010 shortly after. Thanks everyone who have been thinking of us. I will let everyone know when we know when Sean will start WBR. ~nicole~

*The Karnofsky score is another method which measures patient performance of activities of daily living

change in plans maybe??

2008-06-09T21:13:00.000-07:00

I have been in contact with the Gamma Knife specialist in Midland, we have actually spoke with each other quite a few times now! The plans were, for Sean to start whole brain radiation this week. But.... Sean now may still have the chance to have Gamma Knife instead of whole brain radiation. Gamma Knife doesn't really involve a knife, it is actually a type of radiation. With Gamma Knife, doctors are able to radiate only where a tumor is, without damaging surrounding tissue. The thing with Sean though, is that he has multiple tumors (counted 14), and if they do gamma rather then whole brain radiation, then he risks the chance of many more tumors popping up. Usually the maximum tumors they will treat with gamma is 6-7, but we are hoping that the neurosurgeon will go above and beyond and give Sean more then just the standard of care. Gamma knife has its risks, but after MUCH research, whole brain radiation seems to have more risks, particularly with the side effects of possible dementia and long lasting fatigue. On Thursday, we will be heading over to Midland, Michigan for Sean's appointment with the neurosurgeon (gamma knife specialist). We will discuss Sean's options, whether they are willing to give Sean a chance with gamma knife. If they do decide to do gamma, we will stay in Midland Thursday night and Sean will have gamma done on Friday. (The other plus, it is only a one day treatment). Please PRAY, keep your fingers crossed, whatever you can spare, we need all we can get this week! I will definitely try to get in update in after our appointment on Thursday to let everyone know what is going on, thanks for keeping us in your thoughts! ~nicole~
P.S.~ here is a link to a site about gamma knife that describes it fairly well if you would like to read... http://www.virtualsciencefair.org/2006/cham6m2/how.html

Overwhelmed!

2008-06-03T12:24:00.000-07:00

Overwhelmed... that is the exactly how I feel at this very moment! Okay, update on everything-> Sean had his appointment down in Chicago last Friday. We found out there that Sean does have to many brain lesions for Gamma Knife, so Dr. Richards recommended whole brain radiation (WBR). Whole brain radiation (WBR) sounds so scary to me! Dr. Richards did explain some of the risks with WBR. Sean definitely has the benefit of being young and semi strong, as the risk of anything serious becomes a bit less. Sooo.. this Friday, Sean has an appointment here in Fremont with Dr.Orourke- which he will more then likely start WBR next Monday. The oncology office over there is wonderful, and they are already working on what they can to get that set up. As long as it is set up through Dr. Orourke's office, Sean will be getting radiation in Muskegon. Whole brain radiation is usually 2 weeks long for everyday, but weekends, so we may not be traveling as far, but now we have to travel EVERY day! blah. Usually during WBR, the patient (Sean) is put on steroids (Decadron) to help lessen or prevent swelling. We will be returning back to Chicago in a couple weeks also, which then, as long as Sean is off of steroids for at least a week-- he may start the ipilimubab (mdx-010, anti-ctla4) treatment! We know that his lung still seems to hold stable, but we would like to attempt more then just stable, and try for some regression of that mass.
This weekend, some friends and family held the benefit for Sean to help with medical, travel, misc. expenses... It turned out to be more then I thought it could ever be! It was held at Leighton Hall, and the hall seemed to be full the whole time! We had a pig roast, chicken bbq, games, auctions, clowns!, all sorts of fun things... A special thanks to Fondaleette (my mom), Kelly (Sean's mom), Mrs. Sharon Escalante, and Mary! Thank you so much for organizing this and for putting what all of you have into it! There were sooo many individuals, companies, corporations, and so on that have helped, I honestly do not even know where to start to thank everyone! I am so glad Sean was feeling well enough to be able to attend, I know it was great for him to be able to spend time with so many friends and family, especially the ones we have not seen in years! Thanks again everyone! Soooo... On our way to the benefit, since we have the best luck ever and all... I was driving down the road (Sean was with me) and all of a sudden, our tire decided to basically fall off--ok, so it was still attached, but it was on sideways?? I am not sure how to describe it... anyways the ball joint snapped and we were not able to drive it any longer. We came pretty close to smacking right into a a sign since i had no control of the car, fortunately it stopped just a couple feet from it! Thanks to a great friend of ours (Dan), we were able to get it fixed quickly and cheaper then it could of cost us! Thanks Dan, your awesome!
Right now I am having a little scare on my own.. I was finally able to make it to a doctors appointment for myself to have a mole that I have had for a long time checked out. The doctor said it looks a bit suspicious and would like to have it biopsied. : (. I have never had a biopsy myself, I am horrified! and not just horrified of the biopsy, but the outcome of it... the fear of knowing what could happen if I to had to deal with melanoma. The chances of it being melanoma are more then likely slim, but possible. I will have it removed on June 23rd, so please, please, everyone wish me luck! I am sure it is just nothing.
Sorry, this post has become more of just babbling, I am not even going to proof read it right now, so if all of my sentences are funky and I have a million misspelled words... oops. I will try to update soon, it has just been so hectic around here! ~nicole~

good news and bad news...

2008-05-27T13:30:00.000-07:00

I have been putting this post off, because i am having a really hard time posting it... On Friday, I went and picked up Sean's scan results, and unfortunately, Sean now has a few tumors in his brain. We are not sure how long they have been there, how many are there, where they are at... pretty much all we know at this point, is that there is something in there- and we also know that it needs to go! i have been on the phone all today with various doctors, oncologists, blah, blah, blah... I am thinking we will not have a definite plan of action for this until Sean's appointment in Chicago on Friday. The GOOD news-- Sean's lung continues to stay STABLE~! This gives us the time to work on getting Sean's brain back to normal! Hopefully by next week, Sean will be back on his way to fighting off this crap and be on his way to recovery! I don't have a lot of details at the moment, so as soon as I find out more, I promise I will have an update for everyone. Please continue with the many prayers we have been receiving, love
~nicole~

AHHHHHH!!!

2008-05-19T19:10:00.001-07:00

Why does everything have to be so stressful?? Things seem to still be going well, but I feel like we are always on the go-- sometimes I wish we could just have a break from Everything! A break from reality maybe? Usually, I am great at making people think that I am very strong, that I am handling everything well... tonight, I feel like I am not doing so well at that! Maybe it is just the scanxiety kicking in. Sean will be having his scans this Wednesday. I can honestly say- I'm scared! I am so scared that these scans are going to reveal more dreaded news. Yes, I know-- I am trying to stay positive~ especially since Sean does seem to be doing quite well lately. He can even pick Ella up now, he has not been able to do that in over 9 months now~and she has grown quite a bit in those 9 months! He had an appointment today with Dr. Orourke (his local oncologist), Sean has even gained a couple more pounds! I believe he is up to 124 now. His red blood count is also on its way back up now, which is awesome, because it was starting to get a little low there for a while... The biggest concern right now is that Sean has had a couple more sub-q's pop up (swollen nodes). I am not even sure what to think of them at the moment! They are quite small, so that makes it a little less of a concern right now, but it is still a concern. To add a little more stress to my days, I came down with the flu a little over a week ago : (. I am starting to feel better now, hopefully I will be fully recovered by this weekend. Addie also was sick with an ear infection, so she was put on antibiotics- the poor girl. Ella seems to have dodged getting sick lately, lets hope it stays that way! I am really worried that Sean will get the flu, thats definitely one thing he doesn't need right now! Here are a few recent photos of the girls... I really need to get out there and take more! Hopefully it will be warming up a little more soon, so we can enjoy the outdoors...

shhh... don't tell daddy we are stealing from the cookie jar : )
Oh yes, by the way... for those who have asked about the bank information about the benefit:::

you can mail checks to:
Shields Family Melanoma Fund
CHOICE ONE BANK
1423 W. Main
Fremont, MI 49412

Thank you all so much who have helped and all of you that are working so hard to put this all together for the shields family. It means so much to us and we are really excited to be able to see so many that we have not seen in so long. We look forward to being able to spend time with all the ones we love! Hope to see you there!

~nicole~

The latest->

2008-05-09T18:57:00.000-07:00

Sean had his appointment in Chicago today with Dr.Richards (Dr.Hallmeyer's partner, she is in Germany!). The appointment went well, but the drive is horrible! It takes around 5 hours to get there, then we spend 15 minutes at the doctors office and drive 5 more hours home! Dr.Richards continues to be impressed at how well Sean is doing. He has gained just a couple more pounds bringing him to 123 (better then losing weight!). Scans will be coming up shortly, probably around the 21st- I just have to call to get them set up here. Sean will only have a chest CT and an MRI this time, so he is relieved he will not have to drink the barium! I am already quite anxious for Sean's scans, as he has a couple of swollen nodes that we were not sure if they were there before, but it is possible they were there the whole time and we never noticed... None of Sean's oncologist seem concerned at all about them at this point, so I can relax a little for a few weeks now! Sean seems to be getting stronger and stronger everyday now! I think he enjoys being able to help out a little with the girls (or at least play with them)! He is back to going to physical therapy and I think that will help him recover quickly! His physical therapist said he was doing well, and Sean could even do stuff he did not think he could do! (sit on the floor, then stand back up without any help-crucial for playing with a 1 year old!). Sean does have the occasional bad day and he will be completely worn out and everything hurts->I think he definitely over does it (and the long car rides are not good on him either). Usually it is just for a day or two and then he is back to recovery!

We are just about settled into the new house. I still have about a million boxes to unpack that are out in the garage, but I have not even had time to open the garage door, let alone go inside it! Sean has been getting very bored sitting at home all day now that I am working full time again, so he has been trying to find things to do! He will be volunteering soon at Camp Newaygo here to kill some time and have fun. He is also going to be volunteering for Newaygo County Community Services (NCCS), but he has a difficult time driving our car because it is manual, so he cannot go as much as he would like to.
The girls are doing okay. They are both sick right now, mainly Addie. She has had a horrible cough the last few days and a bit of a fever- she also started complaining her ear hurt yesterday, so looks like we will have a trip to her doctors soon. Ella is wild as ever, now that she can walk, she thinks that she can run! We will start potty training soon, so wish us luck!
Some great friends and family of ours are putting together a benefit for Sean to help us out with our trips to Chicago and expenses we have occurred... If you are in the area and would like to come, please do stop by! I am posting a flyer at the end of this post, I believe if you click on it, it will become larger. I am looking forward to being able to get out and see everyone and I know it will be a good thing for Sean to have everyone spending time with him! Hope to see you there!

MAY IS MELANOMA AWARENESS MONTH!!!

2008-05-02T18:30:00.000-07:00

Of course with the warm weather coming to Michigan, I NEED to spread the word about melanoma awareness! Melanoma is obviously a serious thing. I have come to the realization that most people think melanoma is simple-it's just skin cancer, right? True-in a way, if caught early, but then there is always the risk of it coming back or recurring. What they don't tell you, is that when it comes back, it doesn't always come back just on the skin again. Melanoma travels through the lymph system and recurrences may show up in vital organs such as your lungs, liver, brain and more. When melanoma spreads or metastasis beyond the skin or distant from the primary spot, it becomes a stage IV cancer. Melanoma becomes much more difficult to treat when it becomes stage IV.
There are many risk factors that can affect YOUR chances of developing melanoma! One huge factor and semi preventable, would be UV exposure. Between the nice hot sun and all those tanning beds, as the 'tan look' seems to be all the rave these days, the UV rays in these can raise the risk of melanoma developing. Having many moles is also a risk factor of developing melanoma. If you have many moles, it is important to have or do regular skin checks! Other risk factors include~having fair skin, freckles and light hair. Your risk also becomes greater when you have a relative who has had melanoma. Melanoma is not a fun thing to mess around with, so if you have one of these risk factors~ please be vigilant on skin checks, visit your dermatologist, and PLEASE wear your sunscreen!
Over 62,000 people are expected to be diagnosed with melanoma this year, 62,000! Of those 62,000, over 8,000 are expected to die. That equals one person almost every hour will succumb to this disease. Men have a higher rate of developing melanoma then women. The rate of melanoma diagnoses continue to rise, bringing it to the second most common cancer (next to breast cancer) in women between the ages of 20~35.
Below are the ABCD's of melanoma! If you notice any of these signs on a mole, it is probably wise to have them checked by a dermatologist!

* Asymmetry — One half does not match the other half.
* Border irregularity — The edges are ragged, notched or blurred.
* Color — Different shades of tan, brown or black are often present.
* Diameter — While melanomas are usually greater than 6mm in diameter when diagnosed, they can be smaller. If you notice a mole different from others, or which changes, itches or bleeds even if it is smaller than 6mm, you should see a dermatologist.

So as the summer approaches, please practice safe sun!

Home sweet home!

2008-04-28T16:20:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness, what a busy, busy time! We are finally settling into the new house~ now it is time for the unpacking! Everything has been quite hectic around here... I will also attempt to go back to work full time for a couple of weeks while Sean has his break from treatment. Sean has been doing quite well lately, seems he is getting stronger and stronger each day! He still needs to put on quite a bit more weight though. Sean's next appointment in Chicago is not until May 9th! It seems a little odd to have such a long break in between appointments, since he was going multiple times a week before. I was going to post a photo of our new house--but it seems my card reader is packed away~somewhere?! So as soon as I find the card reader.. I will definitely need to post lots of pictures!
The girls continue to do great, Addie is loving the new house because she is able to play outside a lot! (Well, when the weather was in the 70's... now we have this 40's stuff back, yuck!)
I will update soon, we finally have the internet on here at the new house-thought I was gonna go crazy without it : )!
~nicole~

GOOD NEWS!!

2008-04-18T20:32:00.000-07:00

Today, Sean had his follow up appointment in Chicago. Dr. Hallmeyer went over Sean's scans and he is STABLE! On the scans, it looks as if the tumors are breaking down and starting to die! After multiple scans over the last few months, this has got to be the best report. Dr.H would like to have Sean take a few more weeks off from biochemo, so she can scan him again in 4-6 weeks to be more sure that the tumors continue to break down. As long as Sean continues to stay stable, he will hopefully start having the chance to become stronger (since he will have a break from treatment). He is finally gaining weight also! He is up to 122 (gained 12lbs)! It is late .. I will update more soon, I just had to spread the good news now! ~nicole~

THANK YOU!

2008-04-16T18:31:00.000-07:00

So, Sean had his scans done on Tuesday! Major scanxiety right now! I have been calling the hospital all day today to see if the report was available, but I will not be able to get it until tomorrow. Then on Friday, Sean will have his appointment with Dr.Hallmeyer in Chicago. Sean was going to start round 3 this coming Saturday, but they are allowing him an extra week off! He will return for round 3 the week after next instead.
This week, we are moving into our new home. I am not thrilled about having to pack everything and move it all over to the new place, but I am pretty excited about the new place! Our new home is great and I am hoping it will be a fresh new beginning. Making this move would have never been possible without the help of Sean's lovely oncology nurses here in Fremont, thank you, thank you so much for being the generous people you are!
The support for Sean and I has been overwhelming this week! There are so many of you I would like to thank. We appreciate what everyone has done for us--Mrs.Escalante has been such a great nanny to the girls during our long trips to Chicago, along with Sean's parents. For any and all that have helped during our trips to Chicago-Thank you! Thanks to everyone who has been over here to help us pack and bring stuff to the new house! The wonderful radiology team at Gerber giving us diapers for Ella! Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers you have sent. You have all been very thoughtful, I thank you more then words can say.
I will try to update tomorrow as long as I get the results of Sean's scans--we are hoping for much needed good news tomorrow! ~nicole~

Busy busy days again...

2008-04-12T09:25:00.000-07:00

As usual, it has been sometime since I updated. It seems the first week after coming home is always so hectic! It definitely flies by quickly. Sean will have CT scans this coming Tuesday, so the scanxiety is definitely kicking in again! He has done a fairly quick turn around from last weeks biochemo! His blood levels were hanging on for quite a while, but his red blood cell decided to take a little dip the other day, so Sean had a transfusion yesterday. Eating well, he is weighing 115 now, but some of that may be water gain still. Lets hope he can hold onto those few extra pounds! We will return to Chicago next Friday on the 18th to go over Sean's scans and if all is working, Sean will possibly start round 3 on that Saturday.
The girls are doing great. Ella is walking more and more everyday! Addie impresses us everyday with how smart she is. Her Grandpa Marty calls her little Ms. Addie-tude, it fits her well! The girls are becoming best friends and it is so adorable to watch them play together : ).
Keep the prayers and thoughts coming please, every one helps! Thank you, ~nicole~

A little update.. and redemption for Sean!

2008-04-04T20:29:00.001-07:00

Hello all! Just a quick update... Sean is still not doing to bad, he continues to get nauseas quite a bit. He finished the chemo part of the treatment tonight and tomorrow is the last day for IL-2 and last interferon shot... for this round that is! Sean will be doing scans somewhere around April 16th, appointment in Chicago the 18th and he will possibly be admitted to the hospital on the 19th- as long as all goes well and Sean is responding. Here is a normal photo of Sean from yesterday- you can tell he looks tired in it though. He is also very red! He seems to get that way about an hour after they give him his interferon shot.
(By the way, if anyone sees Sean~let him know he needs to shave : ))

BIOCHEMO: WEEK 2 DAY 2

2008-04-02T13:48:00.000-07:00

So we have made it to day 2! Sean has been quite nauseas at times, but otherwise still kickin! Here is what boredism can do to you...

BIOCHEMO: WEEK 2 DAY 1

2008-04-01T17:14:00.000-07:00

We are finally here! We had a few problems with Sean's insurance, but I was able to work it out with them early this morning. Sean started his biochemo around 5:30 today. He is already exhausted from the prechemo medications that they gave him. Thats all for now, I will update again soon. ~nicole~

Chicago

2008-03-30T09:57:00.001-07:00

Hi everyone! We are here in Chicago now, we arrived on Friday. Sean's appointment was not to exciting, a bit pointless! He did have blood work while he was there and for the first time since October, his red blood count was normal!! He has been doing quite well lately, a few aches and pains here and there though. He is still pretty weak, but he can walk a little distance if he has to. His white blood count seems to be extremely high, not sure that is much of a problem at this moment though. Sean is supposed to be starting his week 2 of biochemo tomorrow, but Sean's insurance has decided to be difficult! They have denied this weeks treatment even after approving the first week! It should be settled tomorrow with the insurance, so Sean will hopefully be able to start Tuesday.
We have definitely been taking advantage of the weekend here! On Saturday, we went to Shedds Aquarium and Oceanarium. It was so awesome going there! I felt like a little kid looking at all the exhibits! We also just explored the city~ we went to this HUGE McDonalds! Today, we spent the day at the Woodfield Mall, which is huge! (I love malls : )). Tomorrow, if Sean is not admitted, we may check out the Sears Tower and go get some Chicago style pizza.
As usual, we are missing the girls greatly! Ella took her first unassisted steps on Wednesday, so I bet she will be walking good by the time we get home!
We continue to need any and all thoughts and prayers, and this week, I would like to ask for a few extra to go out to a few other families that are also being affected by melanoma. Jenni Haley is the wife of Brian Haley, who has just gone to heaven on March 21st. He was only 35, and has left behind a beautiful family. ( http://halleyswaronmelanoma.blogspot.com/). Kieth, Suzan, and Christopher Hallam are also having to deal with this dreaded disease as Kieth may be nearing the end of his journey. ( http://www.kschallam.blogspot.com/ ). There are so many out there going through the same thing our family is going through, and it has been tough seeing how aggressive this crap can be. Please continue to pray for everyone being affected by this.
I will try to update tomorrow to let everyone know when Sean will be starting his biochemo, so stay tuned! ~nicole~

Dolphins at the Shedd Oceanarium

Sears Tower

ELLA

ADDIE

An all to short break...

2008-03-25T18:04:00.000-07:00

Well everyone, sorry for the big gap in between updates... After a pretty crappy first week of being home full of nausea, weakness, pain, and just over all feeling like crap..., Sean is finally feeling much better! He has been able to get out and do things. Saturday he was able to go out with some friends to a bachelor party, Sunday we had a ton of family over for Easter (which was lovely having everyone over!). Monday, Sean went out and about with me while I did the gazillion errands I had to do, and he also came along for more errands today! He has been EATING~nonstop! Which, for those of you who have recently seen Sean know that is a very good thing! Sean is weighing a whopping 118lbs right now. In August he weighed in at 180, so...
Sean has an appointment in Chicago on Friday, then he is scheduled to start his next round of biochemo on Monday. We have decided to cut out some of the driving and we will just stay in Chicago for the weekend. I am a little excited about it because if Sean is still feeling good for the weekend, we may be able to take advantage of the trip and check out a bit of the city! The down side... hotels are expensive (but so is gas) : )! It will also be hard staying all weekend because it is that many more days we will not see the girls : (. Both Sean and I were quite home sick by the end of the first week, so I am not sure how we will manage staying even longer.
Thank you everyone for all of the comments, emails, thoughts, and prayers we have received. We need every bit of them, and appreciate it all! Keep them coming! ~nicole~

Finally... HOME!

2008-03-17T18:22:00.000-07:00

We made it home last night around 9:30 last night. Mrs.Escalante brought the girls home shortly after we got here, I was so excited to see them! Ella was already sleeping when they got here, but Addie was ready to hang out with me : ).
Sean is feeling pretty beat, but he seems to be feeling a little better tonight. He is very weak right now and has been feeling a little nauseas every so often. It is so cute, Ella just adores Sean, she won't leave him alone! She stands at the end of the recliner gibbering stuff to him. She will keep puckering her lips until I lift her up so she can kiss him!
So, I am amazed at what we have learned through Sean's journey with melanoma. We have learned a large amount, from medical procedures, chemo and biological therapies, medications to love, support and hope. We live in the moment and love hanging out with our friends. Today, I learned how to hook an IV up to Sean. He has a port that was placed in his chest, that the nurse has accessed for us (no needles for me : ) ), so I am able to run and change IV fluids that Sean is receiving right now. He only has to have the IV hooked for a few hours a day, so he still has a little freedom.
Sean will start his next round of biochemo the first week of April. We will actually probably head down there on Sunday, March 30th. We will be there all week again : (. I believe he will be getting his next CT scans a couple weeks after he is home from the next round (if that makes sense to you). Well, thats all for now, I will try to update again soon. ~nicole~

DAY 3: More then half way done!

2008-03-13T17:28:00.001-07:00

Wahoo, Sean is more then half way done for this weeks biochemo! He has been handling it the treatment quite well so far. His only major side effect has been extreme tiredness (which I am sure he does not mind sleeping this week away). He has had some pain today though which is causing a little discomfort for him, but he did say the pain is going down a lot not to long ago. Sean has been eating so well this week! He has ate more this week then he has probably ate in the last month! He is up 10lbs since Tuesday- 10lbs in 2 days! Much of that may be water retention, but I do think that he is actually getting some of his fat back also :) .

Does it really look like he is being tortured??

Her is the view from our room!
(if you look closely, you can see the Chicago skyline)
~nicole~

Day One of Biochemo...

2008-03-11T12:02:00.000-07:00

Well, today is day 1 of biochemo, although it is supposed to be day 2 of biochemo! Sean's blood counts were to low to start biochemo yesterday, so instead they gave him a few transfusions first. Deja vu! The same exact thing happened Sean's first week of IL-2. So, he started his biochemo about 10:45 this morning, starting with the chemo part. About 1:45, Sean started the IL-2 part of it, he also received the interferon shot. He is not doing to bad so far, just very tired! They said that he may start to feel the side effects from his IL-2 and interferon in about 2 hours, we will see I guess.

I miss the girls already! I cannot wait to go back home and see them already :(.

Here is a really, really crappy photo of Chicago, but oh my goodness, look at all of those tall buildings in the back ground! The whole city of Fremont could fit into one of those buildings!

Well, thats all for now, I will update when there is more news to tell! ~nicole~

We are here!

2008-03-10T08:57:00.000-07:00

Well, we made it! Unfortunately it took us a little longer then expected because our car decided to start overheating last night when we got to the Indiana border. We made it a little ways keeping the engine cool enough, so we stopped at a gas station. As soon as we got to the gas station, the car started working fine again, but I did grab some coolant for the car just in case. We started down the highway again, and of course~it started to overheat again! We made it to a rest stop and just sat there wondering what we were going to do. It was to late for a mechanic to look at it and no car rental places open. We made a few phone calls, Sean's dad Marty was just about to drive all the way to bring us the rest of the way, when I happened to be on the phone with my mom who had told me to put the coolant in the car! DUH! Why didn't I think of that? Of course thats why I bought it~right? Sooo... After the coolant was in, we let the car run for a few and it worked!! So we were off again! We did not make it to the hotel until late because of this, but at least we didn't get lost :).
Anyways, we came to the hospital about 9:00 this morning. So far they have pretty much just went over Sean's history and did some blood work. I believe he will be getting a pic line in shortly and he will start treatment later on tonight. All of the hospital staff here so far has been very generous! At the moment, Sean is in a shared room, but they will be moving him to a private room later, as soon as someone is discharged. They just brought in Sean's lunch, and wow am I impressed! For lunch today, Sean received beef stroganoff (which he probably will not eat because he doesn't like beef stroganoff), a roll, a salad that actually had cucumbers and tomato in it, and a very yummy looking strawberry shortcake! After many stays in different hospitals, usually the food does not look near as good as it is here. He has only had one meal here though, so we will see what future meals will bring.
All About BIOCHEMO: Biochemotherapy is definitely going to be rough for Sean. If anyone remembers the side effects Sean had from IL-2, this will be similar, possibly worse. The biotherapy that Sean will be doing will consist of 5 different drugs! 3 of them being chemotherapies and 2 of them biological therapies. The chemos consist of Vinblastin, Cisplatin, and DTIC. The side effects alone for the drugs consist of nausea, vomiting, fevers, fatigue, headache, chills, rigors, anorexia, anemia, and the list goes on! The 2 biological therapies that will also be included are, Interleukin-2 (IL-2) and Interferon. Sean has already done the high dose IL-2 at Univ of Mich, which was rough! The IL-2 will be continuous throughout the first 4 days. Side effects for the IL-2 are pretty much all of the above plus low blood pressure, water retention, and reversible kidney dysfunction. He will also receive the interferon shots daily.
I will try to keep everyone updated as the week goes on! Any and all prayers are welcome, it's going to be a long, tough week. ~Nicole~

CHANGE OF PLANS

2008-03-07T10:41:00.000-08:00

Well, Sean had his appointment in Chicago on Wednesday anticipating the MDX-010 trial, but there has been a change of plans. I am very fond of his oncologist in Chicago, as she is very aggressive! She has explained to us that the trial may take up to 3-4 months before it can show results. Sean's tumors are very aggressive, and as they are still treatable, in 3-4 months it may become very widespread, so she believes MDX-010 is not the way to go YET. She thinks Sean would benefit by doing biochemo first in attempt to stabilize his tumors, then going on to the trial. Sean will have to receive his biochemo treatments in Chicago, as his oncologist here is against it. We will be leaving Sunday night and he will start treatment Monday morning. We will be at the hospital for 5 days I believe while he is getting his treatment. It's going to be a long week next week, so please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers! Thank you. ~Nicole~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELLA!

2008-03-01T20:41:00.000-08:00

Well, it's not her birthday until Friday, March 7th, but we celebrated it today! Ella is going to be One year old! My goodness, where does time fly? Here are a few photos from her party today :)!

~Nicole~

CHICAGO, HERE WE COME!

2008-02-29T19:01:00.000-08:00

Well, it's official. Are plan of action is in place! Sean has an appointment set up at an oncologist specialist in Chicago on Wednesday, March 5th. Sean will hopefully be starting a new trial there of the compassionate use of a drug called ipilimubab (crazy name, I know!). Others may know this drug as MDX-010 or anti-ctla4. It would have been impossible to find out any of the information on this trial if it weren't for a few other wives who know exactly what we are going through, so I am great full for you beyond words! I am not fully sure on the side effects of ipilimumab, but to my understanding, they will be far less severe then Sean's IL-2. I will be sure to let everyone know how Sean's appointment goes on Wednesday.
Tomorrow we will be celebrating Ella's first birthday! Oh my goodness, I cannot believe she will be ONE next week! Both the girls continue to grow, Addie has become so independent and Ella is still so cheerful as ever. Ella now has 3 teeth, she is able to go from sitting to standing all by herself now (without holding on to anything), and I am sure she will be walking in no time. Oh no!

Decisions decisions...

2008-02-26T20:38:00.000-08:00

We are finally home tonight after a very long day! This morning Sean had his first actual physical therapy session. He is doing pool therapy, so while all of us are out here freezing are butts off in the snow, he gets to hang out in a nice warm pool! Well, I guess it may be not that great for him, because he actually has to exersize, but....! After physically therapy, we had to make the long trip down to University of Michigan to make a plan of action. We discussed many treatment options, but as I was saying before, not to many options left in Michigan. There are a few chemotherapies that Sean would be able to do, but I think Sean and I want to lean away from chemotherapies and stick with immunotherapies since he seemed to have a better response with the immunotherapy. Dr. Lao discussed the scan results with us, but could not base to much off of those results, as he did not have Sean's prior scan reports to compare it to. Gerber is supposed to be overnighting all of his reports to Dr. Lao, so I believe we will discuss that over the phone about how much his tumor really has grown later this week. Sean's cancer was very aggressive before, but since doing IL-2, it is still contained to his left lung and the tumor seems to growing at a much slower pace now! IL-2 did not do enough for Sean to be able to continue it though. The plans that Dr. Lao would like to do is have Sean wait another 4 weeks or so, then do a rescan since IL-2 can have a delayed reaction sometimes. I am not sure we want to go this route, as it seems to be such a long time with no treatment, since he has not been on treatment for 2 months already. I think the decision we have made so far, is that we want to call NCI (National Cancer Institute(in Maryland)- cancer.gov) tomorrow. We will see what they have available to Sean and he will then probably set up an appointment for his initial exam there to see if he will qualify for anything. I will let everyone know when an actual plan is in place! Thanks everyone for the continued support for Sean!

~Nicole~

A Long Road Ahead...

2008-02-22T14:57:00.000-08:00

I have so many things going through my head right now. I was able to obtain a copy of the scan results from yesterday, and they are not good. I do not quite fully understand the report yet, but it does say that it is not in favor since his last scan. Sean's tumor has grown, but I do not know how much larger it is until we speak with Dr.Lao on Tuesday. I am in the midst of doing some major research right now to find out what options Sean will have from here. I am pretty sure we are going to have to travel somewhere for his next treatment, so we are looking for the best! I have seen a lot of good things going on at NCI/NIH in Maryland. Any and all positive thoughts and prayers would be greatly appreciated. We are taking what we got and moving forward, the battle is not over yet! I will let everyone know what we find out on Tuesday.

~Nicole~

Scanxiety!

2008-02-21T18:02:00.001-08:00

Well, today was the day for scans. A whole six weeks or so waiting on them and now they are done. Since Sean will be going to University of Michigan on Tuesday, that is when he will get the results from these long awaited scans! Yes, really, we have to wait ALL weekend to find out results that will make such a difference in our lives. We definitely have high hopes, but every little ache, pain, or even sneeze for that matter, worries us that the cancer is continuing to spread. Please keep us in your thoughts on Tuesday!
Sean has been having a bit of a pain in his side the last few days, so he will probably have it checked out tomorrow.
Tonight, a friend of Sean's dad came over to see Sean and I. He brought with him a gorgeous hand carved cross that says "LIVING HOPE". Hope is something that is in our lives daily. We had a very nice discussion about prayer, and he reminded us that God is here for us.
There are so many of you out there thinking of my family and I guess I do not even realize how many of you there are. Thank you for all of your continued support, thoughts, and prayers!

~Nicole~

SNOW, SNOW, AND MORE SNOW!

2008-02-12T19:11:00.001-08:00

Yes, I know, it has been way to long overdue for an update. Honestly, not much has been going on lately. Sean has been feeling pretty much the same. He is still very weak and exhausted feeling, and has a little tolerable pain. The biggest concern is his weight loss. He is down to 121 now! Although, he has been eating more lately and hopefully that will catch up with him soon. It seems like we have been waiting forever for scans already. Next Thursday will be the day for them! Please hope and pray that he will have good scans, so he will be able to continue IL-2.

It has been snowing NON STOP! Snow, snow everywhere. It has also been terribly COLD. Like -22 degree wind chill cold. Here is a photo of my car after some of the snow got dumped on us.

Addie and I decided to go out to check out all of the snow

Look at all this snow!!!!
(that would be Gerber tower behind her)

Last but not least, Daddy and the girls!!!

Feeling Better!

2008-01-30T18:01:00.000-08:00

What a long day yesterday! Sean had his appointment at University of Michigan. It was just a follow up appointment for Dr. Lao to see how Sean is doing. Sean has been showing more signs of improvement. We HOPE HOPE HOPE that IL-2 is working! Since Sean has started IL-2, he has much less pain in his tumor area and his lung appears to be expanding more now (his left lung was mostly collapsed from the tumors). He does not become short of breath quite as quick anymore! Also, his side where his tumor is use to be really hard if you were to push on it, and now it feels pretty normal and soft to the touch! These are all just signs that it is working though, and we will not know for sure until he has his scans around February 20th. He will then return to U of M on Feb. 26th to discuss the scans. If IL-2 is working, Sean will then be returning to U of M again for round 2 (weeks 3 and 4) of treatment sometime in March I believe!

On the downside, Sean has been losing weight uncontrollably. He has lost another 9lbs this week, bringing him to a total of 54lbs lost. Sean has a prescription now that will hopefully give him more of an appetite, so we can load him up with calories! He will also be starting physical therapy hopefully soon. He really needs to work on getting his strength back, so he can continue to kick melanomas butt!

Sean was also holding pretty steady with his blood work, but his hemoglobin did rake a little drop recently, so he will be receiving a couple blood transfusions. I swear with all of these blood transfusions, Sean is not going to have any of his own DNA left!

The girls are still wild as ever! I never realized how hard it can be to take care of the girls, Sean, the house, go to work, and all the in between. Sometimes I feel like I am not doing much, but by the end of the day, I am exhausted. Also, due to the inconveniences of life, we are moving soon, so we have lots of packing to do!

Oh yes, my exciting news for the week... Ella finally has a tooth coming in!! Her first tooth at 11 months. 11 months!!! She will turning a year old in just a month. I cannot believe how time can move so slow, but go by so fast at the same time.

I will be adding some photos hopefully in the very near future, this computer just plain sucks and it is almost impossible to upload any photos to it.

Photography by Addie???

2008-01-25T09:59:00.001-08:00

Well, I am not sure Addie is going to be the next aspiring photographer! She received the Fisher Price KidCam for her Birthday, and here is a preview of her portfolio!

Pizza anyone?? Yes, Addie took a photo of her pizza at her birthday party!

Also, her favorite subject... Daddy's oxygen machine! Not sure why this is, but...

She had a ton more photos on her camera, but she had discovered where the DELETE button is. Buh-bye photos! Oops. I have explained to her now that when she pushes the red circle button with the X on it, that it throws her photos away, so maybe I will be able to retrieve a few more photos from her camera later if she no longer deletes everything! ~Nicole~

Better Days...

2008-01-18T18:33:00.000-08:00

Well, we have been home for almost a week now! Sean is finally starting to come around, but he is still extremely tired. Although, it seems like each day he is awake longer and longer! Most of his water retention is gone now, he has actually lost quite a bit of weight these last few months. When people that come see him that have not seen him in a while are surprised at how different Sean looks. His facial hair is growing back in quite quickly and he oddly has also been able to grow a mustache. Today, we decided the mustache had to go! Sean definitely did not look like himself with that. He finally stopped shaving his head and is giving that hair a chance to grow back also! Here are the before and after photos of Sean with and without a mustache! You may notice he has very prominent eyes, his oncologist said that it is from the IL-2 affecting his thyroid, which could possibly be a really good thing because it could be a sign that the treatment is doing its job! The photo with the mustache was taken at the hospital during IL-2. Sean had his blood work done yesterday. It came out fairly well, his hemoglobin (red blood cells) were a little low, but they are staying steady from during treatment, which is good. Monday, they will recheck his blood again, and if his hemoglobin drops by then, they will do a few transfusions.

Addie's party is coming up quickly! We were supposed to be going to Chuckie Cheese tomorrow, but the weather decided to change that. We are supposed to be getting possibly a foot or so of snow by tomorrow night, so we decided to stay a little closer to home and go bowling. Addie received the Fisher Price Kidcam for her birthday and she just loves it! She has been taking photos of everything, but she seems to be most intrigued taking photos of Sean's oxygen tank. Odd. I will have to show off some of the photos she has taken as soon as she will give the camera up for long enough for me to upload them!

This morning, while talking with my mom, I was saying how I thought that Ella will probably not walk anytime soon. Much to my surprise, tonight Ella decided to stand up and stay standing all by herself. I may have spoke to soon about her not walking soon! I can't believe she might be walking before she has any teeth! She still has that huge gummy cheese smile!

Sorry it took me a week to update, sometimes I just don't know what to say when I get on here. I will continue to try to update more often... Thank you to all of you reading the blog! ~Nicole~

SIX AGAIN!

2008-01-11T16:31:00.000-08:00

Well, six seems to be the lucky number. Sean made it through 6 bags week 1 and he finished 6 bags earlier today for week 2! He did quite well all week, Friday was probably the hardest day for him. His blood pressure did not like to stay where it is supposed to, dropping way down to 68/35. He is retaining quite a bit of fluid, so his feet are humongous! His oxygen is low, so they have sent him home with oxygen. He will be getting blood work next week, a follow up appointment in 2 weeks, and scans in probably about a month. It is going to be a long month waiting for those scans! I am so glad to finally being home for a while! The girls came home today, it seems like they grew so much just being gone that week. I will be going back to work on Tuesday, so wish me luck :). I am definitely thankful that my job has been so wonderful about working around my schedule, I don't know what I would do without an awesome boss! (I hope you read this Matt, I need a raise :)) Thank you, Thank you, Thank you to all of you who have helped us out, thought about us, and prayed for us, we appreciate it beyond words! Thank You! ~Nicole~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!

2008-01-11T08:50:00.000-08:00

Hi Mom, just letting you know Happy Birthday! I wish I could be up there to see you today! Sean says happy birthday too!. Well, we could always celebrate your birthday with Addie's at Chuckie Cheese :) . Hope you have a good day today. ~Nicole~

Quick Update: 4 for 4!!

2008-01-08T14:04:00.000-08:00

Sean has just received his fourth bag (out of 4 possible!) of IL-2 for week 2. I cannot believe how strong Sean is being through this. He is definitely making treatment look easy! Some things Sean has been experiencing is sleeping quite often, a little nauseated, and is pouring sweat. He also has had some dips in his blood pressure, but it always seems to recover itself. Please continue to pray for us! ~Nicole~

P.S. I would have posted photos from today, but I forgot the cable for the camera:(

Off to a good start!

2008-01-07T16:08:00.000-08:00

Sean has started week two of IL-2. He is tolerating it well, he is very sleepy. So far he has received one bag and we are anticipating many more! Sean has actually been feeling fairly descent lately, besides being tired. His pain is minimal and blood work seems to be good. We are definitely hoping this will mean good news. Sometime in the next couple of weeks Sean will have scans to see if there is any difference in his tumors.

I am already missing the girls ALOT. Actually I started missing them the second we left. Addie started crying when we left and it definitely broke my heart. Both of the girls have been sick the past week, so being at home last week was very hectic! Addie's birthday is next Monday and I am looking forward to it. She is at the age where she understands pretty much everything. We will be having a birthday party for her at Chuckie Cheeses on the following Saturday, so hopefully Sean will be recharged by then!

Again, I cannot thank everyone who has helped us enough, so I just want to let you all know that we do appreciate it greatly! Thank you. ~Nicole~

Happy New Year!

2008-01-01T19:29:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!! I am looking forward to this new year hoping it brings much needed good news. Tonight, Sean and I were just about to walk out the door to go down to University of Michigan when Sean's doctor had called. Sean was explaining to his doctor how he was still retaining a bit of fluid since his last treatment, so Sean and his doctor have decided to wait until Monday, Jan 7th for Sean's second week of treatment. I am glad for this decision, as the less fluid retention before we go down there, the more bags Sean will be able to push. I am not sure if I have explained the treatment Sean is doing, so here it goes: "IL-2 is a natural part of your immune system, a messenger protein called a cytokine which activates parts of your immune system. IL-2 does not kill tumor cells directly like classical chemotherapy. Instead, IL-2 activates and stimulates the growth of immune cells, most importantly T-Cells, but also Natural Killer Cells (NK Cells), both of which are capable of destroying cancer cells directly."(CancerGuide). IL-2 is given through a central picc line that Sean has put in the morning of his first treatment. He is admitted to the hospital for about a week during his treatments because he needs to be under close medical supervision due to extreme side effects. You know those commercials that say "side effects may include..."? IL-2 probably includes every possible side effect there is. Rigors, sweats, rashes, fevers, nausea, water retention, and so on. For the high dose IL-2 that Sean does, there is a maximum of 14 iv bags possible. Not many people are able to do all 14 bags because of the severe side effects. Sean's first week he made it through 6 bags. We are hoping to try to push more then that for week 2, but if not, anything is better then nothing!

Sean is feeling much better since being home from his last hospital visit! On New Years Eve, our friends decided to come hang out at our house to spend time with us instead of going out to some fun party. Thanks guys :). I will also include a few photos from Christmas, I couldn't the other day because my camera would not upload anything. It was very stressful- full memory card and can't delete anything to take more photos... aahhhhh!! :) As you can see, Santa was a huge hit at the party!

Thank yous, Hospitals, and 2008!

2007-12-27T17:35:00.000-08:00

Thank you everyone who has helped making our Christmas special! The girls had a blast. Addie barely even took a moment to check out what each present she received was before tearing open the next! We appreciate all of the helped we have received during this holiday season, it meant so much to us to know everyone was thinking about us.

Sean has been having quite a bit of pain on his side lately, so he was admitted to the hospital yesterday. They are trying to maintain his pain right now, he should be released either Friday or Saturday. He would have been able to come home sooner, but he was running a little bit of a fever (which is actually normal for him), so they wanted to send some blood work off to make sure he does not have an infection. He is getting a lot of rest here though, which is good. We should then be able to be home for 3 or 4 days before heading down to Ann Arbor again for another week. It seems to feel like we are hardly ever home anymore.

On Wednesday, my family received some really bad news. My uncle had passed away sometime during the night before after having spent a wonderful Christmas day with some of my other family. It was very unexpected to me and I am not sure I can process all that is going on right now. It is hard to believe how much bad stuff can happen in just one year. Here is to the year 2008, hoping for only good news and good results!! ~Nicole~

We're Home!

2007-12-23T18:36:00.001-08:00

Yesterday Sean was released from the hospital. It was so nice to be able to come home and have the girls! Sean made it through 6 bags of the IL-2 before it was just to much. He is still feeling a bit out of it, they said he should start feeling better in a few days. We will be returning to University of Michigan on January 2nd for another week. Everything seems so hectic right now with Christmas coming up so quickly.
Today some of Sean's family braved the storm to come visit us for Christmas. Thank you Shield's family for helping to make our Christmas special! Tomorrow we will be celebrating Christmas with my enormous extended family. Hopefully the weather settles down out there a bit so everyone has a safe drive. Merry Christmas, thank you everyone for all of the prayers. ~Nicole~

Day Three: Only Two More Days!

2007-12-20T17:12:00.000-08:00

Well, Sean has managed to get through four bags of IL-2 so far. He is going to try to make it through at least three or four more bags before they call it good for round one. At the moment, they are working on getting Sean's blood pressure up right now, it seems to be running quite low. Otherwise, he has been doing exceptionally well today! He is finally getting some of the rest he has been needing. Next bag: hopefully at midnight :c).
We should be coming home on Saturday and we cannot wait!! Sean and I really miss the girls. As much as we love to have a break from them every so often, this is the longest either of us have been away from them. Thank you Kelly(mom) and Mrs.Escalante for helping out with the girls this week! Sean appreciates everyone that came all this way to visit him down here. It is nice to have people around to keep our mind off of stuff and make this really slow time go by quicker.
I am really anticipating Christmas! I am really glad that we will be home on time for it. Addie is finally old enough to be excited for Christmas herself! We are anxious to see Ella's reaction on her first Christmas. She is so cheery, so I can only imagine she is going to love it! There is Ella on the side being cheery! Anytime I need to smile, I just pull up this photo ;).
~Nicole~

Day One: Cancer Sucks.

2007-12-18T18:43:00.000-08:00

Sean finished his first bag of IL-2 a few hours ago. We were not expecting side effects for a few hours after his first bag, but they started to kick in immediately. Sean ended up having extremely horrible rigors, which caused him to not be able to breathe very well. It was quite scary, I felt helpless just watching him. All of the nurses and Sean's doctor were in here, and finally stabilized him with medication and oxygen. He is doing much better now, but still has some pain. Sean is supposed to start bag 2 in the middle of the night tonight, but they will postpone that until the morning, because Sean prefers that his doctor will be here for that one to be on the safe side. The photo on the side is Sean's bag of IL-2, it is amazing that that tinsy winsy little bag can do so much. I hope to update with more happier news sometime soon. ~Nicole~

A few family photos for fun!

2007-12-17T19:35:00.002-08:00

Here is Ella!

Here is Addie!

Our Family

Addie and Ella

Sean and Ella... awww....

Recharging

2007-12-17T18:41:00.000-08:00

Well, today Sean was supposed to begin his Interleukin 2 treatments. His hemoglobin levels were low though, so he is just finishing up a couple of blood transfusions. He will begin treatment tomorrow at 4:00 (given counts are good). Sean transfusions will hopefully recharge him, so he is big and strong tomorrow! We are at University of Michigan right now, thank goodness for wireless! I just want to say how wonderful Dr. Lao (Sean's oncologist) is. Melanoma is not the easiest cancer to treat, so we need to be sure to have a great melanoma specialist. It is hard to explain to every one that melanoma is not the same as most cancers.

The low down on Sean...
Sean has melanoma, it is in his lung. He does NOT have lung cancer! He tried the chemo thing, as suspected, it did not do a darn thing (except make him feel like crap). Sean has multiple tumors on his lung, they have basically grown together, making a large mass. Because it is a large mass, it is "touching" other organs and arteries, making his mass inoperable. Sean will be starting a treatment called interleukin 2 (IL-2). It is a biotherapy, basically boosting Sean's own immune system to fight the cancer. This treatment will be very dangerous for him due to his large mass on his lung causing breathing problems. Sean's lung is also partially collapsed due to the mass. During IL-2, the doctors will need to monitor him extremely closely to be sure he is breathing properly and that his right lung is not endangered in any way. In the chance that IL-2 does not help Sean, we will probably have to travel elsewhere for Sean to get any other treatments. We have been looking at other melanoma centers, just so we know where we might have to go. We do have our eye on University of Virginia (UVA), but regardless where we go, it will definitely be to a reputable melanoma specialist. Lets just hope that IL-2 works and we will not have to travel anywhere! I hope this helps everyone understand where Sean is at, and maybe cleared up any questions or confusion anyone may have had. I will post soon when Sean starts getting some bags of IL-2! ~Nicole~

IL-2 Here we come!

2007-12-14T22:17:00.000-08:00

Well, on Monday, we will be on our way for Sean to start another treatment. Interleukin-2 is an extremely strong biological therapy. Sean will be admitted at University of Michigan for the week while he is getting his IL-2.He will become extremely sick during the IL-2 treatment, but he will be closely monitored. I will try to keep everyone updated as much as possible while we are down there. We are really going to miss the girls while we are down there, as much as we enjoy a little break from the girls, a week is a long time! We will definitely miss them. :(

Today all of our friends came over for dinner. It was nice having everyone here and spending time with them before we make our trip to Ann Arbor for the week. Sean really seemed to enjoy having all of the company over! Sorry to cut this short tonight... I will update when there is more to tell. Thank you ~Nicole~

Introduction

2007-12-06T17:16:00.000-08:00

So here I am in the blogging world. I have decided that it is time to start a blog to keep everyone updated on our crazy life...

Lets start with Sean. In April 2004, Sean had a mole removed off of his back. A few days later, results came back... it was melanoma. Melanoma, you just cut that off and it is gone forever, right? Wrong. Sean had to go through many tests/scans and a few surgeries, which left a nice scar on his back! The melanoma had spread to one of Sean's lymph nodes, which put him at a stage III for cancer. They removed all of his lymph nodes under his right arm. Sean was then deemed free of melanoma. We had also learned that melanoma has a high chance of returning. What we did not realize is that it can return BIG and BAD as ever...
Bringing us to June of 2007. Sean had started having a little pain in his chest and shoulder. He thought maybe he just had pulled a muscle while working (carrying a ladder everyday). Sean continued to have pain, which kept increasing, so I finally dragged him to the ER on July 25. They found nothing on his X-Rays, so they did a CT Scan. The doctor had said it looked ok, but thought he could almost see some nodules. At this point he was very unsure though. Sean was followed up by his primary doctor. Sean had more X-Rays, this time showing a build up of fluid in the lining of Sean's left lung. The doctor had told Sean he had a viral infection (pleurisy) and that it should go away in about a week. Sean's pain was still getting worse, he was then scheduled a procedure to drain the fluid off of his lung. They ran some tests on the fluid they had drained, which came back negative for melanoma. It does not end here though, Sean again had worsening pain, and more scans showed fluid building up again. He had another lung tap, this time results came back positive...
Sean is now stage IV. He started chemotherapy in October. On November 27, Sean had scans to see if the chemo was working. Our bad news again... tumors were still growing. Which brings us to now! Sean will be going to University of Michigan December 11th, to see if he will qualify for a treatment called IL-2. If he is accepted, he will be admitted to U of M for a week starting December 17th.
That concludes the base line of Sean's melanoma, I will do the best I can to update this blog whenever possible. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers, as this has been a rough road and we still have a long ways to travel. Thank you for taking the time to read. ~Nicole~